


A Jedi's Quest

by totheendoftheworldortime79



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Sharing a Bed, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-02-17 08:24:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 42,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13072986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totheendoftheworldortime79/pseuds/totheendoftheworldortime79
Summary: Post The Last Jedi. Rey and Poe are on a mission to an ancient Jedi Temple; will Rey find what she seeks?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a Tumblr prompt. Might be more if people want it? Let me know what you think!

“Are you sure this is the right place?”

Rey ignored the jab, using her staff to help her climb. “No one asked you to come, Poe.”

Poe followed her up the slope, wishing he’d brought warmer gloves. It was so _cold._ “Leia would kill me if I let you go alone.” Finn and Rose were away on a scouting mission, Chewbacca had gone to visit some old friends from the first Rebellion. Leia hadn’t actually said anything to him, but Rey was too important to the survival of the Resistance to make such a trek alone. At least that’s what Poe told himself.

“I can take care of myself.”

“I know.” Even without a working lightsaber, Rey was a formidable fighter. He’d observed her exercises more than once in the Resistance’s new base; there was an elegance to the way she handled her staff that belied her strength. And that didn’t even count the things she could accomplish with the Force. He was in awe of her, but he was drawn to the vulnerability that she tried to keep hidden.

Rey tried to be irritated with him, but she had to admit that she was grateful for the company. She wasn’t even sure this little quest would yield any results. She was flying blind. In fact, she’d only stumbled on this place by accident, reading through an old history of the Clone Wars. With Master Luke gone, all she had to guide her were the stolen books from the Ahch-To. And nothing in them told her how to fix a broken lightsaber.

There was an outcropping ahead; perhaps an old entrance to the Temple? It was nearly impossible to get a reading from the Falcon; the Empire had destroyed large chunks of the planet. She reached out with the Force to try and locate the ancient Jedi Temple; it had led them this far. She just hoped she was right. Rey quickened her steps, feeling excited for the first time since they landed on Ilum. As she got closer, she sensed…something, almost a hum in the Force. There was definitely something there!

“Hey, slow down!” Poe called as Rey sped up the slope. She either didn’t hear him or didn’t care; either way he had to hurry lest he lose sight of her. “Damn it.” His feet slid on the almost sheer ice, the jagged edges tore into his gloves. His lungs burned but he kept going; he refused to lose her. When he got to the top, Poe skidded to a halt, arrested by the look of wonder on Rey’s face. The cavern she’d discovered seemed to glow, to _pulse_ , casting shadows over her beautiful face. “Rey?”

“Do you feel that?”

Poe frowned, confused. “Feel what?”

Impulsively, she reached for his hand, pulling him closer to her. With her free hand, Rey reached out, hoping to tap into the power she felt. A smile curved her lips, a vision of Master Luke hovering on the edge of her awareness. He’d scolded her for taking his instructions so literally, but this felt right. Her instincts proved correct; they both jumped a little as the Force seemed to hum through them.

“Whoa,” Poe whispered, the hairs at the back of his neck standing up. “What is that?”

“It’s the Force,” she replied softly. “It’s everywhere. But it feels stronger here. I think this might be the Temple.”

Poe looked around, uncertain. “Strangest temple I’ve ever seen. What are the crystals for?”

Rey smiled, suddenly very thankful she wasn’t there alone. “They’re called Kyber crystals.”

“Where have I heard of those?”

“They power a Jedi’s lightsaber. And the Death Star, or so I read.”

 _“That’s_ where I know it from.” It was in one of the histories of the Rebellion he’d read in flight school. “They aren’t dangerous?”

“Is your blaster, by itself, dangerous?”

“In this cold, I doubt it.”

Rey shook her head. “That’s not what I meant. I only meant…forget it.”

Poe gave her hand a gentle squeeze; Rey looked surprised like she’d forgotten they were so connected. “Tell me.”

“I don’t know how.” She bit her lip, trying to find the right words. When that failed, she reached out with the Force once more. “Does that feel dangerous to you?”

Poe felt the hum of power and shook his head. “No, it doesn’t.”

She smiled at him, a warm beaming smile that made his stomach flip flop. What was it about her that had him so enraptured? “So, what do we need to do?”

 For the first time, Rey looked sad. “I think I need to do this part alone. Wait for me?”

“Always.” He felt the loss the moment she dropped his hand; he tried to cover it by tugging his coat tighter around him. It was freezing; the only good thing was that being _in_ the cave kept them out of the wind. He shoved his hands in his pockets and settled in to wait.

“I won’t be long.” She felt bad, but something told her she had to do this alone.

Rey stepped forward warily, feeling mildly ridiculous. She didn’t really know what she was doing; she had to rely on her instincts. The walls of the cave where jagged, marks along the stone where crystals had been pried out. An echo of pain lanced through her; what was that? She ignored it and pushed forward, hoping to find what she was seeking.

She needed a lightsaber if she was going to face Kylo Ren again.

The faint light from the crystals was the only illumination; even then, Rey stubbed her toes several times. She tried to maintain her connection with the Force, hoping that it would tell her where to go. She felt a tug off to her right; it brought her up short. She tried to peer into the blackness, but couldn’t see anything. Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that that was where she was meant to go.

Rey reached into her pack, fumbling to find a torch. As she lit it, she glanced back toward the cave entrance; she hoped Poe would be okay until she returned. Squaring her shoulders, Rey moved deeper into the cave, eyes darting from side to side. Her heart raced, anticipation made her skin tingle. She lost track of time and space, searching for…something.

The cavern opened into an enormous space; Rey gasped. There were _huge_ statues arranged in a semicircle, cracked in a few places. Broken by whatever the Empire had done to the planet? A wave of sadness gripped her; this was wrong. But she couldn’t fix it. That wasn’t what she was there to do. The only way to make things right was to defeat the First Order and bring peace back to the galaxy. One of the things she needed to do that was a restored lightsaber.

The Force seemed to respond to her thoughts; a light glowed off to her left, a rhythmic pulsing called to her. She moved in that direction, heading down an even narrower cave. It was a good thing she wasn’t afraid of enclosed spaces; such a fear was impossible on Jakku. There were too many tight spaces in those old Stardestroyers, the need to survive drove her to dig deep. Rey wasn’t sure how she would find her way back, but her instincts told her to keep going.

Poe rubbed his hands over his arms, trying to keep warm. Or at least maintain some circulation. It was colder than he thought; was the temperature dropping? He thought about returning to the Falcon, but he didn’t want Rey to think he abandoned her. What if she ran into trouble?  He just needed to keep moving.

Rey was starting to think this was a waste of time. She didn’t know how deep the mine went, but if she didn’t find something soon, she was going back. She couldn’t just leave Poe in the cold. Hopefully, he’d have enough sense to return to the ship. Rey paused, her lungs burning a little from the cold. What if she couldn’t find a new crystal? Master Luke’s lightsaber was broken beyond repair, destroyed in her showdown with Kylo. Even if she did find a new crystal, she didn’t know how to build a lightsaber from scratch. There was so much she still didn’t know; it was frightening.

The ground shook under her feet; Rey scratched her hand as she tried to brace herself on the sheer rock. The trembling stopped almost as quickly as it started, leaving her confused. The planet was probably unstable; they needed to get out of there. She started to go back, but something called her. A crack in the wall nearly blinded her; what was it? She poked at it roughly with her staff; the brittle rock fell away, revealing a crystal.

She knelt, ignoring the way the sharp rock dug into her. Still a little hesitant, Rey reached out with the Force; it responded with a satisfying jolt. It was a Kyber crystal! She’d done it! Somehow, she’d done it!

It took some wiggling, but she got the crystal free. Rey couldn’t wipe the smile off her face as she slid the crystal into her bag, wrapping it securely in a length of cloth. The cold was biting, cutting through the fur of her coat. Jakku could get cold at night, but never _this_ cold. Between that and the quakes, they needed to leave as soon as possible.

She prayed Poe was alright. She’d just left him at the cave entrance!

Rey stood, the cold spurring her on. They needed to get back to the Falcon before they froze to death. Or there was another quake. At the fork, she almost got lost, but she reached out with the Force, focusing on Poe. She was surprised at how strong his presence was; it was blinding. She didn’t have time to question it; she just needed to get to him. She found him near the entrance of the cave, curled in on himself for warmth. Rey crouched, urgently shaking his shoulder. “Poe! Poe, it’s me. It’s Rey.”

His eyes fluttered open, not really focusing on her. “Oh. Hi.”

She blew out a breath, mentally cursing her delay. She should have insisted he go back to the ship. “Come on, Poe. Get up. We’re going back to the Falcon.”

It took some doing—he was heavy—but she eventually got him standing. Poe leaned on her slim frame as they inched their way back to the ship. Poe stumbled several times, his movements sluggish. Rey breathed a sigh of relief once they got to the top of the gangplank, the door hissing shut behind them. Poe was ice cold; she wasn’t much better. Neither was in a position to be flying anywhere. She needed to get him warm first.

“Alright,” she said, almost to herself. “We can do this.” She left her bag and staff where they stood and wrapped her arm around Poe’s waist. Together, they shuffled to the main crew quarters, Poe mumbling nonsense. At least he was conscious. “Keep talking.”

“Hmm, you smell really nice,” Poe said, sounding a little drunk. Rey blinked, quickly brushing it off as delirium. “And you’re cute. Like really cute. Have I told you how cute you are?”

Rey laughed dryly. “Um…no. But don’t worry about it.” She had no idea _what_ to say; this wasn’t a Poe she knew. He wasn’t making her uncomfortable; she just didn’t know how to respond.

“No, it’s definitely not okay.” He tried to raise his arm to her shoulders, but it just got them both off balance. Poe tipped, Rey tried to catch them, but all that accomplished was bringing them both down in a heap. Rey groaned, the hard metal grate connecting with her bottom.

“Ow.”

Poe swayed, his eyes starting to fall closed. “Hey, hey, stay with me, Poe!” Rey cried, worried. “Stay with me!”

He blinked, finally seeming to _see_ her. “Where are we?”

“We’re back on the Falcon.” She took one of his hands between hers, rubbing it, trying to bring back some feeling. “You scared me for a second.”

“Sorry.” He groaned. “Did you get it?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Why didn’t you come back?”

“I wasn’t leaving you,” he mumbled. “Didn’t want you to be alone.”

Rey bit her lip, unbelievably touched. She was so used to people leaving her; it never occurred that someone would stay for her. “We need to get you warm,” she said, not knowing how to thank him. “You’re freezing.”

“I’ll be okay.”

“I am not losing you!” It came out more vehement than she intended, taking them both by surprise.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Rey rolled her eyes, even as she squeezed his hand. “Stay here until I get the bunk ready.”

“I think I can handle that.” He felt a little better, a little more himself, but he could tell she was still scared. He didn’t think it best to argue with her. It took several minutes to get the bunk ready for sleeping; Rey had thought this would be a quick trip. How wrong she’d been. It seemed she was wrong about a lot these days. When she got back to Poe, he was listing to one side, eyes closed again.

“Hey, hey, hey,” she coaxed, shaking him gently. “Can you stand for me, Poe? Bunk’s ready.”

His head lolled, but his eyes opened. The brown irises looked distant, which scared her. Poe was always so present when they talked; he drew attention in any room he entered. For some reason, he liked spending time with _her._ She couldn’t fathom why. But she couldn’t say she minded. She was still getting used to being around so many people, but Poe always made her feel like a person and not a symbol. Poe and Finn. Her friends.

“Come on, Poe, come on.”

Poe latched on to her voice, a beacon in the haze of his mind. He managed to heave himself up; Rey helped him into the bunk. He was surprised when she eased his leather jacket off his shoulders and tugged his heavy boots from his feet. “Rey?”

“Trust me.” She shook a blanket over his prone form and tucked it around him. She shivered, still cold herself. She started to move away, to get another blanket, but Poe reached out and grabbed her hand.

“Don’t go.”

“Poe?”

He managed to ease over in the bunk, still half out of it. “Cold. You’re cold.”

She sighed. She _was_ cold, but there was something else she needed to do first. “I’ll be right back. I promise.” She touched his hairline briefly before dashing over to the cockpit to get them off the surface. It would be foolish to think there wouldn’t be any more tremors. Once she had them in orbit, she hurried back to Poe.

“Let me get you another blanket.” Poe shivered, teeth chattering; it scared her. “Poe?”

“It’s…not exactly…Jakku, is it?” he tried to joke.

She chuckled softly. “No.” This wasn’t the most efficient way to get either of them warm. Blushing hard, Rey removed her boots and her vest before climbing in after him. There were some bumps and pokes as they huddled together; Rey had to twist awkwardly to get the blanket over them. The bunk really wasn’t big enough for two, but they could make do. She’d slept in more cramped quarters than this. When she turned back to Poe, he was _very_ close; she could feel his breath on her cheek. Feeling very awkward, she rested her hand on his side, not really knowing where else to put it. “Is this okay?”

He tries to smile but failed. He was so cold, but he felt better with her in his arms. “Yeah. Sorry about this.”

“I should be sorry. I didn’t think I would be gone that long.”

“And I didn’t have to come along. But I did.”

She smiled, remembering how it felt the first time she felt the Force in the cave. “I’m actually glad you did.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They lapsed into silence, Poe’s shivers slowly subsided. Only then did Rey allow him to sleep. She felt oddly lonely once he was asleep; his brown eyes no longer a comforting presence. He looked peaceful, the cares he usually wore fading away from his handsome features. She could admit that while he was asleep. Sometimes she found herself staring at him when he wasn’t looking, just drinking in the contours of his face. It was a new feeling for her, one she didn’t _quite_ know what to do with.

She must have fallen asleep too, because the next thing she was truly aware of was warmth against her back. It took her a moment to recall what happened and where she was and in the space of a heartbeat, she went very, very still. Poe. The freezing cavern. Sharing a bunk! Rey was a usually a fitful sleeper; her dreams often kept her from getting a solid night’s rest. She was used to it though. That, of course, meant that she moved around a lot and somehow, she’d managed to turn completely over in the tiny space. Which left Poe Dameron at her back, his arm slung loosely over her waist.

Okay, there was no reason to panic. She just needed to get up. Check on the Falcon. Get them something to eat. Anything but remain in this bunk with her _friend._ Because that was weird, right?

Decision made, she started to move, but Poe stirred behind her. Rey froze. “Uh, Poe?” she whispered. “Are you awake?”

He made non-committal sound, leaning in even closer, his nose in her hair. She remembered some of the things he said when he was delirious, and it made her wonder. Was he delirious? Could have _meant_ those things? Rey didn’t know, but she didn’t want to find out like this. Carefully, she inched away until she could swing her feet out of the bunk.

Poe woke up to the distinct sound of a hyperdrive. He stretched and yawned, trying to remember the dream he’d had. Rey was in it. That wasn’t exactly new. He’d been thinking about her more and more lately. He thought he’d been doing a good job of hiding it, but perhaps not. He _had_ dropped everything to join on this little quest of hers.

“Oh good, you’re awake.”

Poe looked up to see a casual looking Rey staring down at him. “Hi.”

“Hey.” She offered him a smile. “Feeling better?”

“What happened?” He only remembered cold, mind numbing cold.

“You were nearly passed out when I got back. Cold. Made you a bit loopy.”

“Oh. Sorry?”

“It’s okay. Hungry?”

“Starving, actually.”

“We should get back to base in a couple of hours, but I made us something.”

“Rey…”

“Come on, before it gets cold.”

He hurried to obey her, briefly wondering where his jacket and boots were. Rey had laid them out nearby; he tugged them on before joining her at the table. Their meal was cobbled together from odds and ends, but he didn’t mind. He was too hungry. “Thanks for this, Rey.”

She shrugged. “I was hungry too.”

He looked at her seriously and covered her hand with his. “No, really. I don’t remember all the details, but thank you for taking care of me.”

She blushed. “You’re welcome.” Then she frowned. “You don’t remember?”

Suddenly, he was wary. “What did I do? Did I _say_ something?”

“Yes, I mean, no, it’s nothing. You were delirious.”

“Rey, if I offended you, the I am truly…”

She cut him off, trying to ignore the hurt in her chest. “You didn’t offend me, Poe. It was…nice, the things you said.”

The took him by surprise. “Oh. Then I must have meant them then.”

Rey couldn’t have stopped her answering smile even if she wanted to. The bashful look on his face made her feel good all the way to her toes. They finished eating in companionable silence, until Poe frowned. “What is it?”

“Your hand.”

She tried to hide it; it didn’t even hurt anymore. “It’s nothing.”

Poe just gave her a look. “Let me see.”

Rey felt foolish, but did as he asked. “It really is nothing.”

He turned her hand over, holding it gently between his. Rey was surprised at how gentle he was; it didn’t fit with the image of Poe Dameron, hotshot Resistance pilot. But she was starting to see the man behind the pilot and she liked what she saw. “Nothing a little bacta can’t fix.”

“Told you.”

“Still, let’s get you patched up.” He offered her smile, then went to get some bacta and a bandage. The blush on her cheeks forced him to hide a grin; she was so pretty when she smiled. He tended her wound quickly, not wanting to add to her embarrassment. “All done.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

The silence was charged, but neither knew how to break it. Almost by mutual consent, they drifted back toward the Falcon’s cockpit to settle in for the trip home. Eventually, conversation picked up again, discussing what might have happened in their absence. And if Rey stared at him just a little too long occasionally, that was between her and the Force.


	2. Chapter 2

“I was starting to worry.”

“No need to worry about us, General.”

Leia rolled her eyes and turned to Rey. _Pilots._ “How did it go?”

Rey reached into her pack and pulled out the cloth. “I found it. Not that I know what to do with it.”

Leia pulled Rey gently aside; it didn’t escape her notice that both Rey and Poe glanced at each other quickly before Poe disappeared around the corner. She chose to keep quiet, knowing all too well how it felt to be needled about feelings you were trying to ignore. Leia smiled wistfully; she missed Han so much. She hoped he was at peace. Luke had never explained that sort of things properly; now she would never know. But she had more important things to worry about. Like an uncertain Jedi.

“I know you didn’t get to spend much time with Luke,” Leia said quietly. Another ache. Damn her brother. “But long ago, he found himself in a very similar situation. No lightsaber. He had to build a new one, much like you do.”

Rey’s eyes sparked with hope. “He didn’t tell you how to do it, by any chance?”

Leia chuckled. “Not exactly, no. He was always very…private with his Jedi adventures. My point is, if Luke can do it without training, so can you.”

“I’ll try.”

“That’s all you can do.”

Rey tucked her hard-earned crystal into her bag. The Falcon needed some maintenance; the harsh environment of Ilum had done the old ship no favors. That made more sense to her than some piece of ancient tech that she didn’t understand. Besides, heading toward her quarters meant she had to pass _Poe’s_ quarters and she wasn’t sure how to deal with him yet. She wasn’t even sure there was something to deal with. He said he didn’t remember anything he’d said when he was out of it. Perhaps she should just ignore it? Yeah, Rey was good at that; that was a good plan.

Decision made, she marched back out to the hanger to work on the Falcon. Machines made more sense than people anyway.

Poe flopped onto his bunk the moment he got to his quarters; he was still a little zapped from their trip to Ilum. A ghost of the cold still lingered under his skin, even though he felt fine. Poe had no desire to go back. Now that Rey had her crystal, they never had to.

Rey. He noticed a faint whiff of oil and…something else clinging to his clothes. Where had that come from? He really didn’t remember that much after he passed out; Rey said he was cold. She’d definitely put him in a bunk. But he knew that wasn’t the greatest way to warm someone up from extreme cold. Kriffing hell, was that why she’d been acting so weird? They must have shared a bunk for body heat. She claimed he hadn’t said or done anything untoward, but in that state, he couldn’t be sure.

He’d just have to talk to her, clear the air.

But what, exactly, could he say? They were friends, he thought. They _were_ but his feelings were sliding past simple friendship and into something deeper and scarier. And quickly. Hell, Poe couldn’t remember the last time he’d had anything beyond a casual flirtation. There just wasn’t _time._ As the best pilot in the Resistance—wait, the Rebellion now—he was always off on one mission or other. Only not lately, because they were laying low, trying to rebuild their numbers in the face of a total take over by the First Order.

As a result, he saw her nearly every day. Working on the Falcon, meditating, training with her staff, hanging out with Finn and Rose. Those were the easiest times because he could be around her and not have to worry about giving himself away. Rey was still so…innocent for lack of a better word, that even if he did slip, she might not notice. He certainly didn’t want to frighten her. If he was honest, it kind of frightened _him._ There was a kriffing war on, after all.

 _Relax, Dameron,_ he thought. Rey was too blunt not to tell him if he’d done something he shouldn’t. She told him he’d said nice things. He just wished he could remember what those nice things were.

* * *

 

Leia glanced up from her secure holo transmission, an angry slam catching her attention. “It’s not working!”

“What’s not working, Rey?”

Leia smiled to herself; of course, it was Poe. The makeshift base wasn’t that big; people were always walking on top of each other. Rey had carved out a small corner for herself; Leia observed her tinkering with the remains of Luke’s old lightsaber on more than one occasion, trying to figure out how it worked. When she got frustrated Finn or Poe or Rose would take her aside for some sparing or to work on the Millennium Falcon. That happened often. But Leia couldn’t help but notice that more and more often it was _Poe_ who came to her aid, even if it was something as simple as sitting beside her as she worked.

Han used to do that.

For a man of action, it surprised her how _quiet_ he could be. When she just needed someone to be there, Han always was. Until they lost their son. Leia didn’t blame Han for leaving. Losing Ben was the single greatest heartbreak she’d ever suffered. He was her son and she couldn’t protect him. Now, he was her enemy.

But none of that stopped her from seeing what was right in front of her. Poe and Rey’s heads bent together, examining some stubborn piece of what was supposed to be a saber hilt. There was a soft look in Poe’s eyes that reminded her so much of Han. In her mind’s eye she was twenty-two again, trying to fix the Millennium Falcon in that asteroid field, Han’s large calloused hand wrapped around hers. She could almost feel his breath on her cheek, his skin on hers.

Stars, it hurt.

 _I wish you better luck than we had,_ she thought at the oblivious pair. _The galaxy could use a little hope._

“Did you try this?” Poe said, pointing at a loose connection. “On the broken one, it looks like something should go there.”

Rey tilted her head, trying to see what he saw. “I dunno, maybe.” There was only one way to find out. She tied off the connection and tried it again. The hilt sparked in her hand, burning; she dropped it with a clatter. “Ugh.”

“Are you okay? Here, let me see.”

Rey snatched her hand away. “It’s fine.” Then she sagged, frustrated. “Sorry. I don’t know how to do this and it’s driving me crazy.” She couldn’t help but notice that Poe was almost always the one who was there was she was annoyed or frustrated; his presence soothed her frayed nerves. A dozen times she thought about his words on the Falcon, the ones he didn’t remember. But every time she opened her mouth to…well, she wasn’t sure _what_ to say to him, but she wanted to say something. This…whatever it was between them was slowly driving her mad.

Poe calmly disassembled the parts of her would be lightsaber, laying each flat on the oilcloth. “Maybe you’re going about it the wrong way?”

Her brow knitted in confusion. “How should I ‘go about it’ then?”

“Well, you’re looking at it as a piece of tech.”

“It is.”

“Yeah, but it’s also a Jedi thing. Maybe you need to Jedi mind trick it or something.” Rey laughed, laughed so hard her belly hurt. “It was just a suggestion.”

“No, I’m sorry.” Rey struggled to breathe, her hand falling on Poe’s arm as she calmed down. “I wasn’t laughing at you, Poe. I promise.”

“I don’t know how this stuff works anymore than you do. But I do know what I felt in that cave. When you showed me the Force?”

Rey flushed an even deeper red. “You remember that?”

“Hard to forget. This is bigger than you, bigger than me. Maybe you should use it to help you.”

As her heart began to slow, she realized he might be right. Perhaps she was doing this all wrong. “Promise you won’t laugh?”

“I can go, if you’d rather.”

She smiled at him. “No, you can stay.” Rey sat up as straight as she could, her legs crossed under her. Closing her eyes, she reached out into the Force. She could feel it, humming under her fingertips. Instinctively, she held out her hands over the oilcloth; she could almost _see_ it despite her eyes being closed.  This was much harder than moving rocks. She tried to will something to happen, but at the first twitch of metal, she lost her concentration. “Damn.”

“It was working,” Poe said excitedly. “The pieces, they were starting to float!”

“They were?”

“Definitely. Try it again, Rey.”

“Okay.” She raised her hand again, more confident this time. She centered herself, breathing deeply. _Let the Force do the work,_ a voice echoed in her head. It sounded like Master Luke. She hoped he was right. She heard little clicks of metal begin to snap into place, power buzzed under her fingertips. When she opened her eyes, a brand new lightsaber hilt lay on the oilcloth. “Did I do that?”

Poe was beaming. “You did, Rey! That was incredible!”

“It might not work,” she warned, even though she wanted to believe it would.

“Only one way to find out. Just point it away from me. I’m very fragile.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Sure you are.” She snatched up the hilt and stood. She’d chosen to use some parts from Luke’s old saber along with parts she found around the base. The hilt was made of a studier steel alloy than the old; she hoped it would hold up. The weight was strange in her hand, but she thought she would get used to it. Taking a deep breath, she pressed the button to activate it. A green blade burst forth; the saber hummed in her hand, almost through her, like it was an extension of her arm. “Wow.”

Poe jumped up, thrilled for her. “You did it, Rey. You really did it!”

“We did it,” she corrected, shutting down the blade. “I’d still be lost without you.” She threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you.”

Poe was taken slightly aback, but then quickly hugged her back. She felt good in his arms, a strangely familiar feeling. Why was that? He couldn’t place it. “Happy to be of service.”

Rey pulled back, awkwardness sliding down her spine. Had she read him wrong again? He was so damned confusing! “Anyway, thanks. I have to go tell, Finn. He’s overseeing the outer defenses.”

Before Poe could say anything else, she was gone.

“Stop confusing the poor girl.”

Poe looked up, nonplussed. “General?”

Leia shook her head. “I’m not that old, Commander.”

Poe rubbed the back of his neck, cheeks flaming. “Something happened, while we were on that planet.”

“I thought as much. Both of you have been as skittish as Threepio since you got back.”

“Only I’m not entirely sure what it was, since I was…out of it.”

“Have you tried asking her?”

“I don’t know how,” he admitted.

“Poe Dameron, at a loss for words?” Leia laughed. “She does have you wrapped around her finger, Poe.”

Poe leaned against the console, hanging his head. “I can charge a hundred TIE fighters in my X-wing, no problem.”

“But you can’t talk to a girl.”

Poe laughed dryly. “I remember being good at it. Once upon a time.” He looked at Leia. “And she’s not just any girl. She’s a Jedi.”

“So?” Leia sat on a nearby bench, patting the space next to her. “Look, Poe. My brother was a Jedi. He even offered to train me, but I said no.”

“You did? Why?”

“I thought my life lay elsewhere. Floating rocks didn’t seem important when I had a career and a husband to fulfill me. But we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about Luke. He took being a Jedi very seriously. A little too seriously, perhaps.” She couldn’t get the image of his sad regretful eyes out of her head. She knew now the image she’d seen wasn’t really her brother, but she felt him. That was what mattered. He’d found a way to be there for her when she needed him most. “I always thought he was lonely.”

Poe covered Leia’s hand with his. “I think I understand.”

“Good, because if you don’t do something soon, I’m going to take you both to Tatooine and throw you into the Sarlacc!”

Over the next few days, Poe tried. He really did. But the Rebellion was slowing growing around them. They received distress calls from system after system, desperate people pleading for help. Poe could see how much it weighed on Leia, not being able to help. They simply didn’t have the manpower or supplies. Both were trickling in at the space slug’s pace; it was simply going to take time.

Time was one thing those systems didn’t have.

“Commander!”

“Yes, General?”

“Could you find our Jedi, please? I’ve got a mission for you.”

“On it, General.” The only trouble was, he had no idea where she was. Every since she finished construction on her lightsaber, it felt like she was avoiding him. He couldn’t be sure it was on purpose, since they were both busy. She was trying to master the Force and he was _attempting_ to rebuild the Rebellion’s fighter squadrons. They only had five starfighters so far, half broken down relics, but it was better than nothing.

BB-8 tapped his leg. “What is it, buddy? Do you know where she is?”

BB-8 beeped in the affirmative. Poe smiled to himself; his droid was very fond of Rey. Poe had heard all about her from him, how she’d protected him on Jakku, all their adventures together. Not even his friend’s enthusiastic endorsement of the girl prepared him for Rey herself. When he saw her on Crait, the sheer power she possessed, he was awestruck. Now that he was getting to know the woman behind the power, he liked her even more.

“Lead the way, pal.” Poe thought having BB-8 there would cut through any awkwardness.

BB-8 beeped happily and rolled quickly in the direction of the hangar. Poe gave chase, jogging behind. He was surprised when the droid rolled right past the Falcon and out the door. A couple of people tried to hail him as he passed, but he waved them off. BB-8 didn’t stop until he got to the very edge of the ravine the base was built on, beeping urgently.

“Is this where she goes, buddy?” Poe said, looking over the edge. He’d only given it a cursory glance before, much more worried about the fleet than the ground defenses. That was Finn’s area of expertise. He was good at it, able to apply some First Order tactics to keep them better concealed. “How do I get down there?” He couldn’t see Rey, but if BB-8 said she was there, then she was.

BB-8 beeped again, pointing at a half hidden rope that led down into the ravine. “Right then.” He could do this. It was just like when he was a kid on Yavin IV. He gripped the rope and lowered himself over the edge, his boots slipping a little on the rock. The planet was one of the most humid he’d ever encountered. It was very easy for things to acquire a fine sheen of moisture. It was hell on some of the ship systems, but they managed to keep ahead of it so far. The rope was damp, he had trouble holding on. But he decided to use it to his advantage. He’d had training for things like this at the New Republic academy.

Poe pushed off from the rock, loosening his grip just enough to slide down a few feet. When he tightened his grip, he stopped. Okay, he could do this. He dropped faster and farther each time; it almost felt like flying.

He _really_ missed flying.

All too soon his boots hit the ground. Poe grunted in surprise; it came up faster than he anticipated. Without BB-8 to guide him, he had to rely on his instincts. If he were Rey, where would he go? Some place secluded, surely. She’d spent years alone on Jakku; she didn’t talk about it much. But having been on Jakku himself, it made sense. He’d never been on a more desolate planet.

Poe moved off to his right, shoving aside underbrush as he went. It was warmer down in the valley; he shrugged out of his jacket and tied it around his waist. He thought he heard a waterfall ahead; on a hunch he followed the sound.  Poe paused at another dip in the terrain, the hum of a lightsaber unmistakable.

Rey was at the base of the waterfall, her face illuminated by the lightsaber as she moved through her exercises. She was extraordinarily graceful, her movements fluid and sure. Dressed in a tunic, pants and boots, her fair skin was coated in a fine sheen of sweat. Focus and fire melded beautifully on her face; she was mesmerizing.

He was in so much trouble.

Rey sensed a shift in the Force, a warmth that was unfamiliar. Bit it didn’t feel threatening. She shut down the saber abruptly, her eyes searching for the source. “Poe? What are you doing here?”

He jumped down the last few feet, feeling like an interloper. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb your training. But the General says she has a mission for us.”

“No, it’s fine.” She blushed hard, remembering the last time she’d seen Poe without his jacket. “A mission? Any idea what?”

“Nope. But I hope it takes us off planet. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting a little stir crazy.”

Rey shrugged. “I guess I’m used to staying in one place.”

Poe gestured toward her weapon. “How’s it going?”

“Alright, I think. I still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Didn’t look like that to me.”

“Yeah?”

He smiled. “Let’s just say I’m glad we’re on the same side in this.”

She smiled back. “Me too.”

“Wanna lead us out of here? General’s waiting.”

Rey hooked her lightsaber on her belt and snatched up her pack. “How did you know where I was?”

“BB-8.”

Rey laughed. “Of course.”

“He likes you.” _I like you,_ he thought.

“I like him too.” Rey glanced away, suddenly bashful. Her feelings were new and confusing; she didn’t want to make a fool of herself. Then she had an idea. “Let’s see how well you can keep up, Commander.” With that, she dashed off, up the hill and through the brush. Poe hesitated for only a second before hurrying after her. She was _fast_. But he was no slouch. He caught up quickly and kept pace until they got to the rope. There, her Force abilities gave her the advantage, allowing her to simply _jump_ the distance. Poe climbed back up as fast as he could, wanting to be annoyed, but he was just impressed.

“Using the Force is cheating,” he panted when he got to the top.

“So fragile, Commander,” she teased back. She helped him up, aware too latent of the tension that settled over them. Poe glanced down at their hands and she abruptly dropped it. “Come on.”

Poe cursed under his breath; they really needed to talk out whatever was going on between them. Right now, the mission came first.

* * *

 

“Coming up on Nixor,” Rey said, rechecking the Falcon’s charts. “Part one down.”

Poe nodded from the jump seat. Chewie tended to growl whenever he so much as looked at Rey; he had no idea why. “Getting here was always the easy part.”

“Getting out won’t be.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We might not have to fight.”

“You don’t believe that.”

“I know it’s important for us to get these ships back to the Rebellion. We’ll do whatever it takes.”

Chewie said something Poe didn’t understand. “No, Chewie. We need you to stay with the ship,” Rey said patiently. “Poe and I will be fine.”

Poe got up to change; this was an undercover mission. C-3PO received a transmission from one of his droid spies in the Mid Rim system, a rumor about some supplies and ships the Rebellion could desperately use. The only trouble was the First Order was after the ships too. They were trying to systematically destroy the Rebellion’s ability to resist. In the last few months, they’d lost two other potential additions to their meagre resources. Leia reached out to every smuggler and purveyor of contraband she’d ever met (and being married to Han Solo, that was quite a lot), but even those sources were drying up. They needed this mission to succeed.

Rey watched him leave, her lip between her teeth. He’d been unusually quiet since the briefing; she wondered if she’d done something wrong. Had she hurt his feelings? Every time she thought she was imagining his interest in her, he did something that made her reconsider. She had no idea how to proceed; what if she was wrong?

There wasn’t anything she could do about it now. They had a mission to complete. She headed for her small bunk to change, swapping her tunic and wrap for a nondescript shirt and jacket. She slipped her blaster into its holster and slung her staff across her back. Her lightsaber was a little _too_ conspicuous, so she concealed it inside BB-8, who was coming with them.

“Ready?”

Rey met Poe in the hall; he looked appropriately roguish in faded black leather jacket and mussed hair, with his blaster on his hip. “Ready.”

Poe looked her over, nodding approvingly. “Let’s do this.” He knelt in front of BB-8. “You be careful, buddy.” BB-8 beeped eagerly, clearly excited for the mission. Poe patted the droid tenderly, then stood.

Rey smiled as Poe led the way to the hatch; she liked the way he treated his droid. Everything BB-8 had told her about his master was true and then some. The ship shook a little as they passed through the planet’s atmosphere; Rey lost her balance, but Poe was there to steady her. She flushed a little, grabbing hold of the bulkhead. He nodded in understanding and backed up. Once they were on the ground, Rey lead the way, pausing to scan the horizon with her goggles. “It looks quiet.”

“Leia said these people try to fly under the radar,” Poe reminded her. “We just need to find our contact and get the ships out before the First Order finds them.”

“I wonder what kind of ships we’ll find.”

“We can use all the help we can get. I’ll fly anything.”

They walked side by side, heading for the lone civilization for miles. “You miss flying.”

Poe gave her a dry little laugh. “That transparent, huh?”

She smiled. “I felt it, while we were on the Falcon. The longing. Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t think Chewie appreciated my presence.”

Rey glanced away. “I’ll talk to him. You’re always welcome, Poe.”

“Thanks.” BB-8 rolled on ahead, scanning for the signal from Threepio’s droid. The little city was dominated by the temple like structure; it was old, probably there before the colonizing humans. There wasn’t much in the Falcon’s databanks on this planet; it was sparsely populated for a planet in the Mid Rim. Long ago, it was heavily wooded and temperate, but most of the planet’s resources had been stripped. Bare trees littered the landscape; the ground was dry and dusty. Nixor’s lone sun made the horizon shimmer; it reminded her of the sands of Jakku.

“The Empire did this,” Poe murmured to himself. “This is what the galaxy has to look forward to.” It angered him, his hands clenched into fists. He was surprised when Rey touched the back of his hand, coaxing him to relax. She slipped her smaller hand into his, giving him a gentle squeeze.

“We’re going to win this, Poe. The darkness isn’t all consuming yet.”

“You really believe that?”

She nodded. “I have to. Otherwise, what are we fighting for?”

“Each other? Our friends?”

She smiled. “That’s a good reason too.”

Poe felt the loss when she dropped his hand; he needed to get a grip. He couldn’t let his feelings for her cloud his judgment. Not now. They’d just have to talk after.

Most of the inhabitants didn’t spare them a second glance as they entered the city. After walking what felt like miles, Poe nudged BB-8. “Anything, buddy?”

BB-8 beeped sadly, his scanner whirling. Rey knelt beside him, checking to see if she could boost his range. The city wasn’t that big, but time was of the essence. “Maybe we should try one of the congregation points,” she suggested. “I think that temple might be a bar.”

“Good idea.” Poe had taken C-3PO on a similar mission long ago; it gave him some insight as to where the droid inserted his operatives. If their contact was anywhere, it likely was a watering hole of some kind.

They set off after BB-8, the little droid excited that there seemed to be a plan. Rey’s instincts were dead on; the stench of dried sweat and alcohol filled their nostrils as they entered the bar. A mixture of humans and aliens made up the clientele, some at the bar, others huddled around tables. There were very few windows; Poe found them a table with a western view. That side of the city was completely barren; it struck him as suspicious.

“Poe?”

“Just a hunch,” he said quietly. “There’s activity all around this place, except _right there._ Almost like…”

“Someone’s hiding something?”

“Exactly.”

His thought was interrupted by one of the establishment’s droid waitstaff. It was a protocol droid, silver, so unlike C-3PO. They ordered some Corellian ale and settled in to wait. BB-8 had disappeared almost as soon as they arrived, hoping to find the mystery droid. They didn’t talk; they didn’t need to. Rey reached out with the Force; almost instantly, she was hit with a wave of tension. And fear. She closed her eyes, trying to focus, to figure out where it was coming from. But it seemed to hang in the air like a shroud. There was still so much she didn’t know about her abilities; a lot of what she did know was trial and error.

Poe noticed the intent expression on her face. “Rey?” he asked quietly. “Something wrong?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe.”

Poe felt the transponder vibrate in his pocket. He snatched it up, scanning the information of his droid. “He found it! Well done, buddy!” Poe reread the message. “Okay, Beebee-Ate says that our contact should be here soon.”

Rey tried to relax, but she couldn’t shake her bad feeling. Something was going to go wrong; she was certain of it. “Good, because I have a bad feeling about this.”

Poe slipped the transponder back into his jacket. “Me too.”

But they waited. And waited. While they were waiting, Poe considered sending BB-8 to scout the western side of the city, but if they ran into trouble they would need him. The droid returned, rolling under the table, beeping urgently. “What is it?” Rey asked.

The droid beeped and squealed rapidly, almost too fast for even Poe to catch. “The First Order? Here? Now?”

BB-8 made a sound in the affirmative; Poe and Rey were already moving. They hurried toward the back of the bar, dodging patrons and droids in their haste. Poe ran directly into a very irate Bothan; he didn’t even try to apologize as he followed Rey toward the back hatch.

“They have to be here somewhere,” a loud voice barked. “Search everywhere!

“I really hate these guys,” Poe muttered as he searched frantically for a hiding place. There was a door to his right; he yanked it open and called to Rey.

“We have to _go_ ,” she cried, wondering what the hell he was doing.

“No, we have to hide,” he corrected, pulling her in with him. It was some sort of closet, cramped; it smelled bad. None of that mattered.

“Are you kidding?” Rey demanded, all too aware of how close they were. They hadn’t been this close since sharing a bunk on the Falcon; the same sort of awkwardness slithered down her spine. They could hear stormtroopers wrecking the place to search for them, but all Rey could focus on was the warmth in Poe’s brown eyes.

“Troopers aren’t that bright,” he reminded her. Finn had told them all about his training, the monotony, how being an individual was discouraged. They weren’t trained to think for themselves, just follow orders.

“But Poe…”

She was cut off by the hiss of the latch. Thinking quickly, Poe hauled her into his arms, his mouth on hers. She gasped in surprise, instinctively clutching at his biceps. She’d never been kissed; she had no idea what to do. She was too stunned to do anything but follow Poe’s lead. Poe cradled the back of her head, nearly overwhelmed by how soft her lips were. It was almost enough to make him forget they were being hunted.

A harsh glare broke the moment. Poe turned to the stormtrooper. “Do you _mind?_ A little privacy?”

The trooper hesitated for a second, then pointed his blaster at them. “Who are you? What are you doing in here?”

“It’s not obvious?” Poe shot back. “Then again, you probably wouldn’t understand how it feels to have a beautiful woman in your arms.” Poe inwardly winced; he hated sounding so crude. Rey deserved better than that. But they were supposed to be hardened criminals. He’d apologize later.

The trooper deflated a bit, taking a step back. Rey focused, deftly waving her hand out of sight. “Leave us,” she commanded softly. “You saw nothing in here.”

“Nothing in here!” the trooper called as he turned away. Poe hurriedly shut the door to give credence to the lie.

“Was that one of those mind trick things?”

“Yeah.”

“Remind me not to upset you,” he chuckled.

Rey bit her lip; they still tingled from his kiss. She didn’t know what to make of what happened. Everything happened so fast; she wondered if it was more than a distraction. Did she even want it to be? It was just something else that confused her. She was terrified of being wrong.

Poe noticed that she hadn’t left the circle of his arms, but tried not to read too much into it. She felt good there. While they waited for the stormtroopers to pass, he allowed himself to enjoy holding her. She _was_ beautiful, with such a good heart despite everything she’d been through. When they got back, he was finally going to put himself out there and hope she could give this thing between them a chance.

The next time the closet door opened, BB-8 was on the other side. Rey and Poe jumped apart, Poe kneeling to talk to the droid. “They gone, pal?”

BB-8 confirmed his suspicions in a series of excited squawks and beeps. The droid also informed them that the ships, their entire reason for venturing to this place, were untouched.

“Really?” Rey asked, kneeling next to Poe. “Where are they?”

BB-8’s reply made him laugh. “An underground hangar. I’ll be damned.”

“Can we get in?” BB-8 beeped in the affirmative. “Contact Chewie on the Falcon,” she said firmly. “We’re gonna need R2 to help set up the autopilot on the ones we can’t fly.”

Poe grinned to himself as they followed BB-8 to the hangar. They’d nearly gotten captured, but it was difficult for him to care. He hadn’t _meant_ their first kiss (if it was ever to happen) to be quite like that, but he didn’t regret it. Once the mission was over, they could talk. He had a feeling they had a lot to talk about.

Rey kept glancing at Poe as they readied the ships for departure. A couple of X-wings in reasonably good condition, a dozen Y-wings, a couple that Rey had only ever seen in her flight simulator made up the mini fleet. Whoever assembled these ships had impressive resources. Poe went about their work with a smile on his face; he was clearly in his element. He loved ships, flying. They had that in common.

She helped R2 into the socket of one of the Y-wings; he’d reprogrammed some of the astromechs they’d found to fly the pilotless ships. Rey herself earmarked the other X-wing for herself; she’d always wanted to fly one. Chewie would follow them back to base in the Flacon.

“Coordinates locked in?” she asked the droid.

R2 lit up the telemetry of the old ship, which told her all she needed to know. “See you back at the base then. Be careful, R2.” Ever since Luke’s death, she felt responsible for the droid; fortunately, R2 and BB-8 were becoming good friends.

“Everything’s ready,” Poe said, meeting her at the bottom of the ladder. Rey was taken aback; somewhere, he’d found a flight suit. He looked so much like her doll back on Jakku, it made her heart ache.

“Looks like you get to fly after all.”

Poe gave her an adorable half smile; he was so handsome when he smiled. “Ever fly an X-wing before?”

“Only in a simulator.”

“Somehow I have a feeling you’ll be fine.” His face grew serious, his hand rubbed the back of his neck. “Rey, about earlier…”

She couldn’t do this now, it was too soon. “Can we talk about it when we get back?”

He blinked. “Um, yeah, if that’s what you want. But just so you know…it wasn’t _just_ a distraction. Not for me.”

It was her turn to blush. “Tell me when we get back, Poe.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He beamed at her then dashed off to his new X-wing. Perhaps Rey was right, he thought. There _was_ light left in the galaxy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: the rating on this fic has gone up. I always intended it to go up (at least once I knew I was going to add to it), but I didn't expect it this soon. Explicit sexytimes ahead. You've been warned. If you continue to read, I hope you enjoy it!

Looking back, it was very naïve of him to think they would _actually_ get to talk. He and Rey had hardly landed with their new ramshackle fleet than both were pulled in a thousand different directions. Poe himself had to speak to Leia; it was worrying that the First Order found them so quickly. BB-8 and R2 scanned all the ships for signs of tracking before they left Nixor; they hadn’t found anything, but he was still worried. He’d learned to be vigilant the hard way.

All in all, however, the mission was a success. They had over a dozen new (well, new to the Rebellion) ships, along with some badly needed parts. Every time Poe saw Rey for the next few days she was elbow deep in some ship’s system, working with Rose and the other techs to get the Y-wings battle ready.

“Commander,” Leia said. “Are you listening, Commander Dameron?”

Poe turned away from the sight of Rey running from one end of the hangar to the other, some part clutched tight in her fist. “Sorry, General.”

Her lips quirked in a knowing half grin before returning to her point. “I was saying that it may be time to resume our scouting sorties,” she said seriously. “Our techs managed to get some of the old droid army probes working; I’d like to have some warning should this base be found.”

“We’re on the edge of Wild Space,” Lieutenant Connix argued. “This planet isn’t on any charts!”

Leia fixed her with a hard stare. “Do not doubt our enemy, Lieutenant. The First Order will not stop until this Rebellion is crushed.” _My son will not give up_ , she thought. _He’s too much like me._

There was an uncomfortable silence; not everyone knew that the infamous Kylo Ren was the son of Princess Leia Organa and Han Solo. But Poe knew. And he knew she was right. There were still nights he woke up in a cold sweat, the memory of Kylo Ren digging into his head turning into a waking nightmare. _No,_ he thought, _he will not give up._

“Commander, I’d like you to choose your best pilots. It’s important we start immediately.”

“Yes, General.” The conference broke up, the participants moving off to their separate duty stations. Poe felt a hand on his arm and he stopped. “General?”

“How’s our Jedi?”

The tips of his ears reddened. Was he that obvious? “We haven’t, ah, really talked since we returned.”

“Poe…”

Her eyes were so sad, the pain and remorse of lost time evident in her face. “Time is a precious thing, Poe Dameron. Once it’s gone, you can never get it back.”

He nodded, understanding. His mother died when he was just nine years old; there wasn’t a day that he didn’t miss her. His own father, Kes, was never quite the same. Yes, time was precious. And it was time he stopped wasting it.

Rey climbed down from her perch on the port side of the Y-wing, wiping sweat from her brow. It was hard work, repairing and improving the ships she and Poe brought back. Some of them hadn’t been in use since the first Civil War; they were older than she was! Old but sturdy. She spent a lot of time with Finn’s new friend (or more than friend?) Rose; Rey liked her. Rose was almost impossible not to like. Her warm optimistic outlook was infectious. Rose did most of the talking, which was fine with Rey. She had too much on her mind.

Poe kissed her. If she thought about it long enough, she could almost _feel_ it. It happened so fast; sometimes she was convinced she imagined it.

The swooping feeling in her belly every time he passed told her she hadn’t.

He’d tried to talk to her about it. He said it was more than a distraction. While she believed that, she also didn’t know what to do about it. The last time she felt this strongly about something, she’d been so, so wrong.

“Rey?”

She blushed, realizing who it was. Poe. She turned the wrench over in her hands, just for something to do. “Yeah?”

He looked a little bashful, but determined, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “How’s it going?”

She smiled; mechanics she could talk about. “Good. I think I found a way to boost the power on the X-wings, give them a little longer range.”

His face lit up. “Really?”

Her cheeks grew warm. “Yeah, I’m hope that’s okay. We put the prototype on yours to test out.”

Pow couldn’t help but smile. In the few months that he’d known her, Rey had more than proven herself as a mechanic. He tried not to be flattered that she worked on _his_ ship, but he was certain he failed. “BB-8 and I’ll give it a go,” he promised. “But first, I was hoping we could talk? Do you have a minute?”

Rey looked around, but everyone else seemed to have disappeared? She was certain Rose had been right there, tinkering in the cockpit of the old ship, but now she was gone. “Uh, sure. What did you want to talk about?” _You know exactly what,_ she chided herself.

The middle of a hangar was not where he imagined this conversation happening. “Follow me?”

“Sure.” She was surprised when he led her up the gangway of the Falcon. The old freighter had become home to her; well, as much as anywhere could. Butterflies flooded her belly, but she didn’t want to run. She was too curious about what he wanted to talk about. “Poe?”

He blew out a breath and ran his fingers through his thick curls. It was cute. “So, I, uh, wanted to talk to you. About the mission.”

“I was at the debrief.”

“Not about that.”

“Oh, okay.”

There was nothing for it; he’d just have to _say_ it. “I kissed you.”

She flushed. “You did.”

“I wish it hadn’t happened like that.”

“You don’t?” Suddenly, her stomach dropped. That kiss haunted her and now he wished it hadn’t happened?

Poe reached out and lightly touched her shoulder. “I wish it hadn’t happened like _that._ On a mission with stormtroopers chasing us. You deserve better than that. And I was…crude, just to play the part.” He chuckled. “Sorry. But I really liked kissing you.”

Instinctively, Rey wet her lips. She liked kissing him too. But she couldn’t find her voice. She searched his warm brown eyes; was he nervous? “Rey? I’m crashing here,” he joked.

She mentally shook herself out of her stupor and took a step toward him. Before she could think better of it, she cupped the back of his neck and drew him close. Her eyes fell shut right before their lips touched; she was terrified of making a fool of herself. But Poe didn’t pull away; in fact, his arms slid around her waist, drawing her closer. A sound she didn’t recognize caught in her throat, her arms tightened around his neck. Poe groaned softly, breaking the kiss just long enough to tilt her head back. She made that delicious sound again and he smiled against her lips.

“Now that is more like I imagined,” he murmured.

Rey’s heart pounded in her chest; she didn’t want to open her eyes, she didn’t want to let go of this feeling. She felt good, _happy;_ she’d experienced it so few times in her life. It was precious. Somehow, she summoned the courage to look at him. “What’s like you imagined?”

“This.” This time it was Poe who leaned in, caressing her lips with his. She was just as soft as he remembered, a bit hesitant, but just as eager as he.

She smiled as they broke apart once more, her cheeks pink. “That was nice.”

Somehow, they’d moved much closer to the wall. “Not the word I would use.”

She ran her hands over his jacket. “What word would you use, Commander?”

“Incredible?”

“Now you’re just making fun.”

Poe gently set her to rights, back on her feet. “I think you’re incredible,” he said sincerely.

She shook her head. “I’m no one.”

“You’ve never been no one. Anyone who says that is a fool.” His fingers caressed her cheek. “I don’t intend to be a fool, Rey.”

She laid her hand on his chest, touched by his words. “So, ah, what happens now?”

He grinned. “Well, I thought we’d test this prototype you’ve got, _then_ maybe have dinner?”

She smiled. “I’d like that.”

 

* * *

 

Poe did a barrel role, clouds swirling around him. The X-wing banked, moisture streaming over the windscreen. BB-8 beeped a warning, red lights flashed on his dash. “Relax, buddy. I trust Rey’s modifications.”

The droid’s happy beeps made him smile. “Yeah, she’s pretty great, isn’t she?” There hadn’t been much to be happy about over the last few months, but right now, Poe felt like nothing could touch him. He and Rey reached an understanding; he could still taste a hint of her on his lips. It felt like he was on the verge of something momentous, life changing. Crazy after such a short time, he knew what he felt when he kissed her. It felt _right._ Just like the first time he flew his mother’s old A-wing back on Yavin.

How fitting that Rey and flying should go together!

“Alright, Beebee-Ate,” Poe called. “Let’s really see what this thing can do.”

Rey watched Poe’s telemetry from the monitor, checking for anomalies. She triple checked it before he took off; it was so much more daunting than she thought. Their moment on the Falcon stayed with her. He kissed her! He’d imagined kissing her! Such a relief, to know she wasn’t alone in her feelings. She’d felt alone for as long as she could remember; every fleeting moment she’d experienced of belonging was quickly taken from her. Finn was the first person who really seemed to care about her, then he was grievously injured. Han was murdered in front of her. Luke rejected her; Ben demanded her surrender to the Darkness to shed her loneliness. Now she had real friends, Finn and Rose and Chewie, a mother figure in Leia. Poe was always different. He never asked anything of her; he was simply _there_ , sharing a joke or a story or helping her fix the Falcon. He came with her on her quest to find a kyber crystal for her new lightsaber, nearly freezing to death. He didn’t have to do any of those things, but he did. She liked spending time with him, even before they kissed.

She was excited to see what would happen next.

A sharp tremor in the Force seized her; a split second later frantic alarms began to blare.

Poe.

She didn’t know how, but she _knew_ it was him. Ignoring Finn’s shout, she dashed off, lightsaber bouncing on her hip. The humidity struck her the moment she stepped outside, so different from the dry heat of Jakku. She could just make out a smoke trail on the edge of the horizon. Others raced around her; a med team loaded a speeder.

“Poe, Poe!” Finn yelled, skidding to a stop beside Rey.

 _No, no, no!_ Her mind rebelled. She couldn’t lose someone else. Not Poe. Not _now._ Almost in the same instant, Rey and Finn ran for a speeder; he hopped on behind her, nearly falling off as she gunned it.

“He’s gonna be alright, he’s gonna be alright,” Finn repeated over and over. “We’ll find him, Rey.” He’d noticed the growing closeness between his two best friends; he was just as worried for Rey as for Poe.

Rey wasn’t listening; her sole focus was willing the speeder faster. The smoke was billowing to her left; she banked sharply, nearly losing Finn again. They outstripped the medispeeder, reaching the wreckage a handful of breaths later. BB-8 rolled up as they stopped, beeping frantically, smoke rising from his metal skin.

“Where is he?” Rey demanded. “Where?”

Rather than answer with words, BB-8 hurried to the north a little bit where a smaller column of smoke rose from the grassland. Rey and Finn charged through the brushfire and smoke, finding Poe still locked in his seat, unconscious.

“We have to get him out,” Finn said unnecessarily. He moved to release the harness keeping Poe in the seat, but jumped back from the heat. Rey used the Force to yank it open, catching Poe before he hit the ground. He was heavy; Finn helped her drag him free of the debris. The shield of his helmet was cracked but in place; Rey lifted it off as gently as she could. His flight suit was torn and burnt around the edges; there was a nasty gash along his right side. Rey hastily yanked off her arm wraps to staunch the bleeding; Finn helped her hold his wound closed. He felt strangely calm now; his old training kicking in.

Rey found a piece of the X-wing’s windscreen sticking out of Poe’s wound. “Don’t take it out!” Finn shouted.

“What? Why? He’s bleeding!” Poe was still, eyes closed, his face pale. Terror made her hands shake.

“He’ll bleed more if you take it out!” Finn drew her hands over where his had been, showing her how to firmly to press. “Here, like this. We need to get him to the medbay.”

Rey was thankful for Finn’s steady presence. Her blood roared in her ears, the chaos of the crash fell away around her. She could feel Poe’s presence in the Force, fainter now than ever. It frightened her. He was so vibrant, so _alive_ ; she couldn’t lose him. Not now. Not right when they might have been on the cusp of something _wonderful_.

The medical team appeared; Finn had to pull Rey off to give them space to tend to Poe. Rey saw him stir, his eyelids fluttered briefly before he fell unconscious again.

“We need to get him back,” one of the medics said.

“Is he going to be alright?” Rey demanded. “Is he going to be alright?!”

“He needs the tank,” the medic repeated. “Now.”

They loaded Poe onto the hovering stretcher; Rey insisted on riding with him back to the base. She slipped her hand in his; it felt cool and clammy. _Don’t take him too,_ she thought, tears stinging her eyes. _I’m not ready._

The next day passed in a blur. Rose and Finn took turns sitting with Rey as she held vigil beside the bacta tank that contained Poe, but even they grew exhausted. The medical droid assured her that Poe would be fine, but she refused to leave. She wasn’t going anywhere until he was awake, and she could talk to him. Not that she knew what to say to him, but she couldn’t leave him. She _couldn’t._

“Here,” a familiar voice said quietly.

Rey accepted the cup from Leia reluctantly. “Thanks.”

The older woman sat next to her, her eyes full of tender concern. “He’s going to be alright, Rey.”

“I know, but I can’t stop…”

“Worrying?” Rey nodded. “I felt exactly the same every time Han took some crazy chance. Which was _always.”_ Leia smiled fondly. “It was one of the things I loved most about him.”

“But this is my fault,” Rey whispered. The longer she thought about it, the more it felt like that was the only thing that made sense. Poe was flying an X-wing _she_ modified, testing out _her_ prototype. She must have missed something.

“Poe is a pilot,” Leia said patiently. “You could no sooner ask him not to fly than you demand the sun of this planet not to rise.”

 _“I did this!”_ The cup she was holding shattered, equipment around them shook. Everything she touched got ruined. Her parents abandoned her, Luke had wanted nothing to do with her. His fear of her power made sense now. Luke was right to be afraid.

Leia took Rey’s hands in hers. A sense of calm washed over her; Rey’s eyes fell shut. In her mind’s eye, she was somewhere else…her waterfall! The Force was strong there; she felt at peace when she went there to meditate or train. Beside her stood Leia. “This is a beautiful place,” Leia said, smiling.

Rey stuck her hand under the water; it felt real as it splashed over her front. “Do you feel it?”

Leia nodded. “I do.”

“Does it frighten you?”

“Sometimes,” Leia admitted. “Luke wanted to train me, but I chose another path.”

“That wasn’t what I meant.”

Leia smiled in understanding. “Caring about people is hard, Rey. It gives them power over you. The power to hurt you, disappoint you. But that doesn’t mean you should stop caring, stop loving. If we all did that, the Darkness would win.”

“Does it ever get easier?”

Leia’s eyes were sad. “No. But friends help. And maybe more than friends?”

Rey flushed. “I don’t know,” she said, sounding a little helpless. “I was hoping…but what if he hates me now? I hurt him.”

Leia frowned. “Didn’t anyone tell you? Poe flew into one of the canyons and a toxic gas got sucked into the ventilation system of his X-wing. He lost control when he passed out; his droid got him out before the ship crashed.”

It wasn’t her fault. Poe wasn’t hurt because of _her._ She rushed into Leia’s arms, relief washing through her. He was going to be okay. And when he was, she didn’t plan on wasting anymore precious time.

* * *

 

Pain greeted him when he opened his eyes. Poe groaned, struggling to move. He felt heavy, almost drunk. Was there something on his chest? Dark hair filled his vision; there was warm breath on his skin. Rey? She appeared to be fast asleep, her head on his chest, her body tucked against his side. His head fell back; why was he so tired? And where _was_ he? The last thing he remembered was BB-8 screeching a warning and feeling lightheaded. He’d been flying. None of that explained how he got here. He was tempted to wake Rey and ask her, but he liked the way she felt against him. While this wasn’t the way he initially imagined waking up with her, right now? He’d take it. In fact, it didn’t take long before her steady breathing lulled him back to sleep.

Rey jolted awake, her heart pounding. Another dream. Not a nightmare, just a sense of falling. Falling into what? She didn’t know. The longer she was wake, the more the dream slipped through her fingers. Said fingers brushed warm skin and she flushed. Poe. She must have fallen asleep on his chest. Fortunately, he was still asleep. Carefully, she climbed off the stretcher, not wanting to wake him. They’d taken him out of the bacta tank hours ago, his wound healed. They left him sedated to allow the last of the poisonous gas to clear his system. A team was sent back to the canyon to collect samples, just in case, but the medical droid said the worst was over.

He looked peaceful, lashes dusting his cheeks. Rey bit her lip as she gingerly brushed the edge of his hairline. Even now, he was handsome. His cheeks and jaw a bit scruffier than usual, his curls thicker. A blanket lay bunched around his hips; he was bare chested. Curious, she skimmed her fingertips over his pecs, down his stomach. How many times had she wondered what lay under his shirt? She remembered their first kiss, the strength she felt in his biceps as he held her.

She definitely liked what she saw.

Her hand moved lower, dipping just under the edge of his blanket before she jumped back. He wasn’t wearing anything under the thin sheet! Her cheeks burned; she should not have been touching him. He wasn’t even awake. Embarrassed, she started to move back to her chair, but she felt fingers brush hers. “Hey.”

He sounded raspy, but it was unmistakably him. Poe. Rey curled her fingers into his, mustering a smile for him. “Hey.”

“We have to stop meeting like this.”

She laughed. “Perhaps you should stop trying to be a hero then.”

“Not a chance.” He tried to push himself up, but Rey shook her head.

“They said you need to rest.”

“I’d say I feel fine, but I guess you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Nope.” She touched his wound with her right hand. “Does this hurt?”

He shook his head. “What happened?”

“Do you remember flying into a canyon?”

“Yeah, I wanted to see how she handled in tight spaces. I don’t seem to remember crashing though.”

“There was some sort of gas. Toxic to humans. When you passed out, BB-8 managed to get you back to the surface. You were…unconscious when we found you.”

“You found me?”

Rey glanced away. “I just _knew._ I knew that something was wrong even before the alarms.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It was an accident.”

He gave her hand a little tug; she forced herself to look at him. “Thank you. For finding me.”

“BB-8 and Finn were there too. You worried a lot of people.”

She looked tired, her eyes rimmed with red. Has she been with him the entire time? “But you’re the one who’s still here.”

“I couldn’t leave you, not until I knew you were okay.”

This time Poe forced himself up. He was dizzy for a second, whether from the gas or how fast he moved, he couldn’t tell. It didn’t matter. “I’ll be fine.” He turned her hand over, drawing nonsense over her wrist. It was the first time he’d ever seen her without her armbands. She shivered. “Is this okay?”

She inhaled sharply but nodded. Poe smiled softly, feeling her pulse jump under his fingertips. “Did my little bout of unconsciousness ruin our chance at dinner?”

Rey rolled her eyes, even though she admired his ability to make light of what happened. “Ruin? I wouldn’t say that.”

His smile grew bigger as his fingers grew bolder. “What happened here?”

She flushed. “Those got ruined.”

“How?”

“I, uh, used them to try and stop the bleeding in your side. Here.” Rey moved her hand to trace the faint scar along his side. The sheet lay bunched on his lap, leaving his hip bare. It was Poe’s turn to inhale deeply as she touched him. She was so gentle, her fingertips featherlight, but his body couldn’t tell the difference. He’d yearned for her for so long.

Rey saw his pupils dilate, just as little as she touched him. “Am I hurting you?”

“Definitely not.”

She smiled tentatively as she moved her hands to his chest. Poe nodded, silently giving her permission for whatever she wanted to do. She started slow, exploring him with questing fingers. As she moved lower, he bit back a groan. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been touched like this. It was _Rey_ , the woman who’d haunted his dreams. He couldn’t have stopped his body’s reaction, even if he wanted to. Before she reached his lap, he caught her hands.

“Poe?”

“As much as I’m enjoying this, I’d really like to kiss you.”

She beamed, the happiest smile he’d ever seen. It made her even more beautiful. They leaned in at almost the exact same moment, mouths fusing together in a heated kiss. The tentativeness of before seemed to melt away, Poe’s close call reminding them both how fleeting life could be. Poe threaded his fingers into her hair, pulling her closer. Rey felt his tongue brush the seam of her lips; she opened instinctively. Poe groaned loudly as he wrapped his arms around her, gingerly exploring her mouth. Her relative innocence was endearing, but she was a quick learner. Her fingers sank into his curls, an unfamiliar ache settling in her core.

They finally had to break for air; Rey leaned her forehead against his, their breath mingling. “Wow.”

“Good?”

Rey laughed. “Yeah.”

Poe was about to kiss her again when the distinct sound of a rolling droid echoed in the corridor. Rey stepped back as BB-8 entered the room, beeping excitedly. “I’m fine, buddy,” Poe said, hastily wrapping the sheet around his hips so he could hop down to greet his friend. “Thanks for the rescue.” He stroked the droid fondly; BB-8 was more than just his astromech, always had been.

Rey smiled at the pair of them; for the first time since the accident, she felt like everything was going to be alright. Word of Poe’s recovery spread quickly; moments later, both Finn and Rose came in. Finn hugged his friend, the relief clear on his face. “You scared us, Poe.”

“Not on purpose. Seems we still don’t know everything about this place.”

“We’re just glad you’re alright,” Rose said fervently.

“I’ll be better once I’ve had something to eat and a go in the fresher. That bacta tank is disgusting.” He was happy to see his friends, but he selfishly wanted some time with Rey.

Finn nodded, understanding completely. “Sure, we’ll see you later.” He and Poe hugged again quickly, then he and Rose took their leave. Rey started to follow with BB-8 but Poe called her back.

“Yes?”

“Meet me later?”

“Okay. Where?”

He frowned, thinking. The base was filled with people; there weren’t many places where they could be alone. “The ravine? It’s a pretty spot for a picnic, don’t you think?”

She looked skeptical. “You just woke up.”

“And we’ve already lost too much time.” He brought her fingers to his lips; she blushed. “Please?”

“Okay.”

Poe smiled as she left; it felt like something was finally going right. Granted, he’d have preferred _not_ to have crashed and made everyone worry, but there was nothing for it. If that was what it took for he and Rey find some time alone, then so be it.

He was delayed by the medical droid, who insisted on checking his vitals before declaring him free to go. He hastily dressed in plain white surgical garb before leaving the medbay for his quarters. Once there, he actually did get into the fresher and scrub the stale scent of bacta off his skin; he finally got a good look at the faint pink scar on his side. He must have been pierced with something, but he couldn’t remember what. It was long and jagged, from his ribs down to his hip. He must have lost a lot of blood. If Rey and Finn hadn’t found him when they did…Poe ducked his head under the hot water. He’d had more than his fair share of close calls. He accepted the danger every time he climbed into the cockpit. He didn’t fear death. Not really. No, now he was afraid of something else.

Now he had someone to live for.

His body ached a bit as he dressed, but he ignored it. He’d had worse. He was surprised how _nervous_ he felt as he moved through the base, gathering things he thought Rey would enjoy for the picnic. There wasn’t much to choose from in their meager stores, but he found some exotic fruit and sweet wine from Naboo that he thought she might like.

“Going somewhere, Commander?”

Poe flushed, caught. “Hello, General.”

Leia smiled. “It’s good to see you up and about, Poe.”

“Me too.” He was stunned when Leia drew him into a hug, her mother’s touch unmistakable. “I’ll be more careful next time.”

She shook her head. “No, you won’t.”

He ducked his head. “True.”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Leia glanced pointedly at the basket.

“Um, yeah. Permission to take the day off?”

“Permission granted.”

Poe snagged a blanket from a storage cube, then followed the path to the edge of the ravine. He managed to sling the basket over his shoulder, so he could climb down. It was easier this time, his footing surer. It was already afternoon. How long had he been unconscious? Poe took the now familiar path to the valley, his nerves creeping up again. He didn’t know why he was so nervous. It was just a picnic. But it wasn’t, was it? It was the start of something.

Rey was there when he stepped into the clearing. She sat crossed legged under a tree, away from the afternoon sun, eyes closed. Meditating? He started to turn away, not wanting to intrude, but she smiled at him. “Hi.”

“Hey. I hope you weren’t waiting long?”

“Not really.” She scrambled to her feet; Poe noticed her layers of wrap were gone. She was dressed in a simple tunic and breeches, a gray vest hanging from her shoulders. Her dark brown hair was loose, the way he secretly liked best. He closed the space between them, gently cupping her cheek before kissing her.

Rey smiled into his kiss, something she liked more and more.  She hadn’t been ready to stop earlier; it seemed Poe wasn’t either. He drew her close, arms firmly around her waist, eagerly exploring her. “That was for earlier,” he murmured, lips touching the corner of her lips. “We were rudely interrupted.”

She laughed. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“In this case, yes.” He brushed her hair away from her face. “All I want is to spend time with you.”

“I still can’t figure out why.”

“Never sell yourself short, Rey. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”

“What about the General?” she teased.

He chuckled. “Okay, maybe it’s a tie,” he teased right back. “Now would you like to share dinner with me?”

“I’d love to.” They shared happy shy smiles as they shook out the blanket Poe brought and laid out the food. They had to use old metal cups in lieu of glasses for the wine, but Rey didn’t care about that. She was used to it. “This is good.”

“I’m glad. There wasn’t much…”

She laid a hand on his arm. “It doesn’t matter. I’m just glad you’re okay, Poe.”

“So am I. I didn’t want to miss our date.”

“Is that what this is?”

He scratched behind his ear. “Usually?”

She laughed. “I like the sound of that.”

He smiled back, relieved. He was half in love with her already; he could feel himself quickly losing what was left of his heart. She was simply too adorable not to love.

They finished eating, then stretched out on their backs. Poe slipped his hand into hers as they watched the sky fade from blue to black. There were so many stars, more than Rey could count. It was beautiful. “Poe?”

“Yeah?”

“Why did you become a pilot?”

He moved on his side, propping his head in his hand. “My mother. She flew A-wings for the Rebellion. When I was small, I used to sit in her lap when she went flying after the war. It was all I ever wanted to do.”

“Where is she?”

He glanced away. “She died when I was nine.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” _At least you knew her_ , Rey thought. Her parents sold her like she was garbage, disposable.

“I think about her, every time I fly. It reminds me of home.”

“Where’s home?”

“I grew up on Yavin IV.” He told her all about his home, the lush greens of the surrounding jungle, the deep blue of the skies, the riots of color in the valleys, the ground strew with flowers.

“Sounds amazing.”

“A lot different from Jakku.”

“I’d never seen greenery until we went to Takadona.”

He couldn’t imagine the kind of life she’d lived, so much struggle and toil. But it made her the incredible woman who sat before him. “This place is a bit like Yavin. More humid though.”

“It’s not so bad here.”

He smiled. “No, its not. This place is…different.”

“The Force is strong here.”

“What does that mean exactly?” His parents had a Force tree on their ranch, back on Yavin. The whole concept of the Force fascinated him.

Rey bit her lip, trying to find the right words. “You know that feeling when you’re flying? The balance, the peace?” He nodded. “It’s a bit like that. The Force holds the galaxy together.”

“Can you show me?”

“I can try.” She sat up, resuming her meditation stance. Her left hand rested flat on the ground, her right raised in front of her. Poe mimicked her, resting his left hand on hers. Rey centered herself, breathing deeply, letting the Force flow through her. Just like on Ilum, Poe _felt_ it. It made the hair stand up on the back of his neck, but he wasn’t afraid. He understood exactly what Rey meant, the peace.

“That’s incredible.”

“I never knew what it was. But deep down, I always knew it was there. It’s still a little scary.”

Poe took her hands in his. “You’re not alone, Rey. You’re allowed to be scared.”

“I’m not scared with you. At least not like that.”

“If it makes you feel better, I’m a little scared.”

Her brow knitted in confusion. “Why?”

“Because I’ve never felt like this. And I feel guilty about being happy when there’s so much destruction around us.”

“You’re happy?”

“Yeah. I’ve wanted this for a while.”

She smiled. “Me too.”

Poe grinned, leaning in to kiss her. She responded with enthusiasm, climbing into his lap to get closer. Her weight overbalanced them; Poe landed on his back with a thud. But he hardly felt it. All that mattered was the woman on top of him. Poe slid his hands under her vest and up her back, holding her against him. She mewled softly, her fingers combing through his curls. She gave them a little tug accidentally, and Poe groaned, arousal shooting to his groin.

“Rey,” he gasped, his fingers tightening in her shirt. It rode up, giving him access to the soft skin of her back. “Rey.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no. I like you right there. Maybe a little too much.” Were they moving too fast? He didn’t want to scare her.

“Do you want me to move?”

“Not especially.”

She smiled as she kissed him again, pausing briefly to shrug out of her vest. Poe swallowed heavily; she looked ethereal in the moonlight as she straddled his hips. She skimmed her hands up his chest, remembering how good his skin felt under her fingertips. “May I?”

Poe nodded. Rey opened his shirt, exposing his chest. His body was silver in the moonlight; tentatively, Rey leaned down to press her lips to his skin. Poe sucked in a breath, his heart hammering. His hands returned to her back, inching her tunic up. She was so soft. She moved up, wet kisses gliding over his sternum. His fingers were rough on her skin; it made her shiver. “Poe?”

He kissed her tenderly, combing his fingers through her hair. “We don’t have to,” he said. He ached for her, but she’d already given him more than he’d imagined when he arrived in the valley.

Rey shook her head. Who knew when they would get another chance? Her feelings for him were so strong; she didn’t want to waste the time they did have. She sat up and drew her tunic over her head, leaving her nude from the waist up. Poe drank her in with hungry eyes, moving to sit up. He kissed her hard, catching her by surprise, but she gave into it, pushing his shirt off his shoulders.

“You’re so beautiful,” Poe murmured, his hands sliding over her skin.

Rey bit her lip, arching as his thumb brushed her nipples. She felt that ache again, hot and intense, in her core, along with something long and hard between her thighs. “Ugh.” Instinctively, she rolled her hips against the bulge, moaning in relief.

Poe groaned; she was driving him crazy. “Kriffing hell, Rey.”

She swallowed, trying to ease the need she felt. “Poe, _Poe.”_

“Want you so much, Rey,” he whispered into her skin. “Tell me to stop.”

“No,” she replied. “Don’t. Please.”

He growled, holding her to him as he switched their positions. This time, it was his turn to explore her. Rey arched as his mouth moved over her skin, his scruff scratching her deliciously. She’d never felt anything like this; it was amazing. She didn’t want it to end. Poe wrapped his lips around one of her nipples, making her gasp and arch in pleasure. “Oh. _Oh!”_

He smiled against her, his hand grazing her inner thigh. He inched closer to her core; he could feel the heat radiating off her. “May I?” he asked.

It took her a moment to realize he’d spoken. Then another to realize what he wanted. She flushed but nodded. “Yes.”

He grinned as he leaned into kiss her, his fingers fumbling with her pants. The buttons came loose at last, allowing him to gently ease the material over her hips. Rey held very still as he peeled the clothing from her body; she’d never been naked with a man before. It was daunting. But Poe looked at her with such awe, she couldn’t help but be drawn to him. Poe stretched out beside her, humming as she leaned in to kiss him. His hand slid over her naked hip; she moaned against his lips. Her hand fell to his waist, fingers brushing the scar that dipped under his pants. A reminder that she almost lost him.

He felt her tremble, the gentle way she touched him. Poe broke their kiss and coaxed her to look at him as he guided her hand to the front of his trousers. Rey bit her lip as she brushed her fingers over the thick bulge she felt, watching as Poe’s eyes fluttered shut. She grew bolder, pressing more firmly, taking in the length of him. She wasn’t entirely ignorant. She understood the physical differences between men and women. But she’d never seen a naked man before. She wanted to see Poe. Badly.

Poe rocked into her exploratory touch, craving the contact. It had been so long; he wouldn’t last if she kept going. He lightly grasped her wrist, pulling her hand away long enough to shuck his pants. Rey was shy at first, glancing away, but Poe cupped her cheek. “We can still stop.”

Again, she shook her head. She kissed him, the familiar feel of his lips soothing her nerves. Only then did she let herself look at him. Poe stretched out on his back, trembling a little as she touched him. Her fingertips moved over his hip, her eyes drinking him in. He was firm, erect, but surprisingly soft as she glided her index finger up the length. She had no concept of size, but she did wonder how he would fit inside her. At _that_ thought, her body gave an involuntary throb; she needed to know what that felt like.

“Ugh,” Poe groaned as she stroked him. She was so gentle, but he was getting desperate.

“Did I hurt you?” she asked, worried.

“No, I just…” He curled her hand around him, showing her how to touch him. “Feels incredible.”

“It does?”

“Yes,” he hissed, hips rocking. “Don’t stop.”

She did as he asked, the pleasure on his face making her burn. Wetness pooled between her thighs; she clenched them together in a vain effort to ease her ache. “Poe, I…”

She looked adorably bewildered and wrecked; Poe groaned. He took her hand in his and drew her up. They kissed deeply, exploring each other as he rolled her onto her back. He eased her legs apart once more, his fingers gliding through her slit. Rey cried out, surprised, but it felt _so good._ She gripped his bicep as he touched her, toying with her soaked swollen flesh. When he touched her most sensitive spot, she jumped, her head thrashing. Poe grinned, pressing harder, circling faster and faster, determined to bring her over the edge.

Rey sucked her lip into her mouth, quickly loosing control of her body. The pleasure was unfamiliar but intense, it seemed to build higher and higher right at the apex of her thighs. “I don’t…ugh, it _hurts_ ,” she whined.

“Let go,” Poe coaxed, the faint growl in his voice increasing her need. “Let go for me, Rey.”

It felt like a dam bursting inside her, pleasure engulfed her. She’d never felt _so much_ ; it felt like she was flying. Her body arched and trembled, Poe’s fingers pushing inside her, driving her still higher. She lost all sense of time and space, her core pulsing rhythmically around the intrusion.

Poe swore he’d never seen a more stunning sight.

Gradually, she came back to herself, her skin coated in a fine sheen of sweat. Poe lay beside her, awestruck, his brown eyes burning for her. She smiled and rolled into his arms, humming happily as his hands moved over her nude form. “Rey?”

“Shhh.” She kissed him, needing more of his skin on hers. She climbed back on top of him, straddling his hips. He watched in awe as she ground against him once more, no barriers between them. Her mouth fell open in a soft O, her eyes closed in pleasure. He could have watched her forever, but she was testing his patience.

“Rey,” he groaned. “Kriff, I want you.”

She nodded. “Show me?”

He growled in triumph, flipping them over one last time. Rey sucked in a deep breath as he settled in the cradle of her thighs, his erection bobbing against her core. “This might hurt,” he warned.

“It’s okay.” She held her breath, bracing herself; she felt the very tip of him press against her entrance. She cupped Poe’s cheeks as he moved, her body stretching to accommodate him. There was a brief flash of pain, a burn, but it didn’t last. Her eyes remained locked on his as he paused to give her time to adjust. Poe was barely hanging on; she felt so good around him, hot and wet. But he wanted her to enjoy it. That meant taking his time.

Rey drew his lips to hers, letting out a little whine as she felt him shift. She was so full, but she needed more. “Poe,” she whispered. “Please, I need…” She trailed off, not knowing exactly what she needed so badly.

“I’ve got you,” he promised, kissing her as he rolled his hips. He moved slowly, rocking into her steadily, drinking in her soft mewls and whines. He felt her relax in his arms, her hips moving with his, seeking pleasure. Poe grabbed her hand, threading their fingers and holding on tight as he made love to her. Rey clutched at him with her free hand, her body going molten under him, craving another high. Poe ground against her with every deep thrust, grinding against her swollen nub, eager to make her feel good. He was close, his orgasm tingling at the base of his spine. “Rey, Rey, Rey.”

She arched under him, wrapping her legs around his hips. Poe growled above her, his control snapping, giving them both what they needed, hard slaps of skin echoing in the valley. He climaxed hard, pulsing inside her; Rey _felt_ it, the sweet high, and it triggered her own, stars bursting behind closed lids. Their pounding hearts echoed in her ears, even as Poe sagged on top of her. She didn’t complain, holding him near.

She’d never felt so connected to another person; it was staggering.

Poe frowned when he saw a single tear sliding down her cheek. “Rey, did I hurt you? I am so sorry.”

She shook her head, missing him as he rolled off her. “I’m okay, I promise.”

He gently cradled her cheek. “Then what?”

“I’m just…happy. I mean, I _felt_ you. Just now. I felt how happy you were. It’s amazing and scary, but mostly amazing.”

He gave her a little sly grin. “You felt it, huh?”

Rey bit her lips worriedly. “I didn’t mean to. I just feel this connection with you and I don’t understand why.” She didn’t want to think about that other connection she’d had; Kylo hadn’t appeared in her head for months. If she figured out how to make it stop, she couldn’t explain _how._ She was just glad it was over. She’d have to tell Poe about it, but she didn’t want to ruin the moment.

He caught her hands. “Rey, it’s okay. I want to be with you, if you want me.”

She smiled in relief. “I do too. But you don’t mind? I still don’t know how so much of this works.”

“Then we’ll figure it out together.” He knew being with her would be unlike anything he’d ever experienced. But he thought he was ready for the challenge. It was certainly better than the limbo they’d been in before.

“Together.” She leaned in and kissed him, a gentle brush of lips. Poe drew her into his arms, snatching a corner of the blanket to draw over them. It was beginning to get cool in the valley.

“Do you want to go back?”

She felt warm and safe here; going back meant losing that. “Later,” she replied.

“The General gave me the day, so I’m all yours until tomorrow evening.”

“You won’t get bored?” she teased. She wasn’t that interesting.

He kissed her brow. “Definitely not.” Now that he had her, he didn’t intend on letting her go.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by a Tumblr post from thejadesabre. I hope you like it!

The planet loomed in front of them; Chewie growled a question.

“I know what you mean. I never expected to be back here either.” When she left Ahch-To, she thought a lot of things. Most of them wrong. She’d been stubborn and naïve; all her good intentions blew up her in her face. With Master Luke gone, there should be no reason to return here.

None except one.

Rey saw Luke’s island home past under them; they didn’t have time to waste. She hadn’t told anyone where she was going; the Rebellion would miss her soon enough. _Poe_ would miss her. She didn’t mean to be secretive, but she wanted this to be a surprise. She felt bad that his X-wing was destroyed, even though it wasn’t her fault. The Rebellion only had a handful of the fighters; the loss of even one was a blow they could ill afford. On a more personal note, Poe without an X-wing just felt wrong to her. He _loved_ flying; it was a trait they shared. They spent long hours talking about it, often in the privacy of their ravine. Since that fateful night a few weeks ago, she and Poe returned there as often as they could. It was exciting, heady; they couldn’t get enough of each other.

She was certain her feelings for him were written all over her face; however, aside from Leia, they hadn’t told anyone about the change in their relationship. She wasn’t ashamed or anything like that; she’d just never had anyone that was _hers_ before. She loved Finn like a brother, but he was also _Poe’s_ friend and he had Rose. Rey wanted to be selfish just a little while longer.

She flew the Falcon down to the island, once again awed by the sheer amount of water there was. Ahch-To was dotted with islands; there were no large landmasses. There was a storm to the west; she would need to hurry. Scanners said that it was a few hours away, but that wasn’t always reliable. Ahch-To was a study in contrasts; dreary and wet and violent during the planet’s many storms and placid and gorgeous in sunshine. Rey much preferred the latter.

Luke’s island only had one patch of land large enough to land the Falcon; she set them down with a soft thud. “I’ll be back soon,” she said. Chewie wailed softly. “No, I’ll be okay. But thanks, Chewie.” She squeezed his shoulder, offering her friend a fond smile. He was very protective; she appreciated it, even if it wasn’t necessary. Ahch-To carried some unpleasant memories, but she was here on a mission. She wouldn’t fail.

Rey climbed up the ancient steps; they appeared more weathered and worn than she remembered. Perhaps she simply hadn’t paid that much attention. When she first came to Ahch-To, she’d had one goal in mind: bring Luke Skywalker back to the Resistance. She held hope that he could give her the answers she sought; it was a bitter disappointment, one she didn’t know how to handle, when her hope proved foolish.

But had it been?

In the end, Luke Skywalker _did_ save the Resistance. He distracted the First Order long enough for them to fight another day. She heard the talk among the survivors. How Luke appeared seemingly out of thin air; some weren’t even sure they’d actually seen the famous Jedi. When Rey felt him pass, she understood exactly what happened; she felt bad for ever doubting him. He’d done far more to save the Resistance than she had. She only hoped she could live up to his legacy.

She was all that was left of the Jedi.

The storm was closer now; the wind whipped around her. She was tired when she reached the summit of the cliff, but she kept going. The old huts appeared abandoned, the hole she’d left with her blaster still gaping in one of them. Had Luke’s passing left the caretakers without a master? How did that work? She saw no one. Moving past the huts, she climbed higher, hoping she remembered exactly where Luke’s X-wing lay submerged.

“It’s that way.”

Rey jumped out of her skin, heart thumping wildly. She snatched her lightsaber from her belt and whirled around, green blade extended. A ghostly form stood a few feet away; Rey blinked in disbelief. “Master Luke?”

Luke looked different than her memory of him. He was younger, a good twenty years younger, his beard and hair brown rather than gray. His eyes no longer held defeat and shame; they were peaceful. He was surrounded by an ethereal blue glow; there but not there.

“How?”

“Mind lowering that? Nice job, by the way.”

Rey belatedly turned off the saber and lowered her weapon. “I, uh, had some help.”

“The pilot.”

Rey flushed. “His name is Poe.”

Luke gave her a little mischievous smile; it looked strange on him. Then again, this wasn’t quite the Luke she knew. This was Luke as he’d always wanted to be. “I know.”

She felt a deeper flush creep up her neck, but she fought it. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

Luke pretended to look himself over. “This? It’s complicated. And it won’t be in those books you stole.”

Rey huffed, unapologetic. “If I hadn’t…I’d be flying even more blind than I already am.”

For the first time, Luke flinched. “I deserved that.”

“Yes, you do.”

“I was wrong. It’s not time for the Jedi to end. It’s time for them to evolve. Shake off the dogmas of the past. You have that chance, Rey. The chance to start over.”

She shifted uncomfortably. She didn’t want to lead. She simply wanted to belong somewhere. But the Force seemed to have other plans for her. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Trust your feelings, Rey. They won’t steer you wrong.”

“They did with Be—Kylo.”

Luke shook his head. “You can’t make anyone’s choices for them. You tried to reach him. That was more than I’d even tried to do.”

“I was so sure…”

“Nothing is certain, Rey. _Nothing._ The moment you start to believe in certainty is the moment you are lost.”

“So what do I do?”

“Trust yourself. Trust the people around you. Embrace your feelings; they make you strong.”

She didn’t fully understand what that meant, but she felt like questioning him would only muddle things further. “I’ll try.”

Luke smiled. “Master Yoda would scold me for this, but…that’s all any of us can do. Learn from your failures. Do better next time. Thanks to you, there _is_ a next time.”

“Why do I still feel like a failure?”

Luke smiled. “Ask your pilot,” he said mysteriously. “Now I believe you came here with a purpose?”

Rey nodded. “Um, yeah. You, uh, don’t mind?” It never occurred to her that Luke might object to her mission. Then again, she never expected she would get to _ask._ With Luke in front of her, it felt more like stealing if she didn’t ask.

“Why would I mind? It’s just sitting there rusting. The Rebellion needs it more than I.”

“Oh. Okay.” Rey felt very awkward as she turned, carefully clipping her lightsaber to her belt. She could sense him watching her, almost feel his bemusement. Did he think she couldn’t do it? Sure, it was a long way down. And there was a _lot_ of water, but she could do this. Right? How hard could it be?

“You’d be surprised,” Luke chuckled, apparently reading her thoughts.

“Shut it.” She didn’t mean to snap, but he was making her nervous. Rey peered over the edge, confirming that the X-wing was exactly where she remembered. Okay, simple. All she had to do was raise it. After tons of rock, this should be simple. Rey took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She breathed in and out, centering herself, reaching out for the Force. She found it easily enough, pulsing under her fingertips. It was powerful, a living breathing thing, hers to command.

Rey extended her hand. _Rise,_ she thought over and over. _Rise._ She heard water rushing, some creaking metal. The Force _shuddered_ , the weight of the X-wing far greater than she imagined. Her arm began to shake; Rey gritted her teeth, determined. There seemed to be a voice on the edge of her awareness; at first, she thought it might be Luke, but it was _Poe._

 _You’ve got this, Rey,_ the voice seemed to say. _Just breathe._

She tried to follow the voice, to breathe; power flowed through her, almost radiating up from the ground and into her, working _through_ her. The rushing water grew louder and louder, more metal screeched. Rey flung both hands out, willing the ship to rise. She opened her eyes, the nose of the ship just beginning to peek over the edge of the cliff. She set her jaw and turned her hands over, palms up; the ship did a similar turn, gliding over the cliff, over dry land. Rey found herself laughing, _giddy_ with relief and happiness, so much so that she dropped the ship harder than she intended. One of the landing gear snapped, the salty water having eaten dangerously through the metal.

“Damn it.” But the ship was there in front of her! All she had to do was see what needed to be repaired and fix it. Fortunately, she’d brought most of the parts she thought she might need from the base.

It was time to get to work.

* * *

 

“Have you seen Rey?”

Everyone he asked gave him the same baleful shake. No one seemed to know where she was. The base wasn’t that big; there were only so many places she could be. He even checked their special place by the waterfall. No Rey. It wasn’t until he noticed that the Millennium Falcon was _also_ missing that he really began to get worried. It wasn’t like her to leave without a trace.

Poe strode through the hangar, BB-8 at his heels. “Where do you think she went, buddy?”

The droid beeped and chirped, his optimism not really all that welcome right now. Had he done something to offend her? Hurt her feelings? Poe racked his brain, trying to think back over the last few days. He thought they were happy. _He_ certainly was happy. It was such a relief to know he wasn’t alone, that she felt just as strongly as he did. Not in so many words, perhaps, but he could see it in her smile. They stole away from their duties every chance they got, stealing kisses in dark corners, slipping off to the ravine to make love. Rey seemed to blossom, become even more beautiful, if such a thing was even possible.

He lived for those moments, just after her climax when she clung to him. He’d never felt closer to another person; it was a little scary, just how quickly she’d wheedled her way into his heart. He wanted to tell her, but he knew it was far too soon. She was young; he refused to push her.

He was so distracted, he nearly ran into Finn. “Sorry,” he mumbled, patting his friend on the chest. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“No problem.” Finn saw how distracted his friend was and he thought he knew why. Rey disappeared over a day ago, flying out very early on the Falcon. He offered to go with her, but she said it would only be a short trip. She never even told him where she was going. Looking at Poe now, he wondered if it was time for him to say something.

Poe started to walk away; he wondered if Leia knew where Rey had disappeared to. Perhaps she was on a mission for the Rebellion? He liked to think he could have been trusted with something like that, but he was past caring about something so petty. He just wanted to know she was alright.

“Poe.”

“Yeah?”

Finn frowned, wondering how to begin. Something had changed with Rey and Poe, he knew. He _thought_ he had an idea what that thing was, but he didn’t want to presume. Above all else, he wanted Rey to be happy. “I’m sure she’s fine,” he began, laying his hand on Poe’s shoulder.

“Are you trying to convince yourself or me?”

Finn ignored that. “Look, I saw her before she left…”

“And you didn’t say anything?!” Poe demanded. “She could be in trouble!”

“You really think she can’t take care of herself?”

Poe relaxed just a little. Finn _was_ right, he knew that. Rey had powers and skills he didn’t understand, and probably never would. She was a kriffing Jedi! What was he compared to that? Still, he couldn’t _not_ worry, not when she disappeared without a word. He thought—he _hoped_ —he meant more to her than that. “Of course, you’re right. I just…” He clammed up; he and Rey had never talked about the change in their relationship, if and when to tell others. Leia just seemed to _know_ , but Finn and Rose…

Finn’s features softened. “Hey, I get it, man. She’s worth worrying about.”

Poe laughed dryly. “Funny, because she could probably kick both of our asses.”

“Exactly.”

“Thanks, buddy.”

“Anytime.” Finn patted his friend on the shoulder, then looked stern. “Now, Poe…”

Poe cut him off. “Is this the part where you give me the big brother speech, Finn? Because you know, don’t you?”

“Technically, I guessed. But it seems it was a pretty good guess.”

“Hurting her is the _last_ thing I would ever want to do. And _if_ I did, I’ll give you a free shot, man. Because I would deserve it.”

Finn smiled. “As long as we’re clear.”

“Crystal.” While Finn helped him calm down a little, Poe was still a little anxious. Where would she go without telling him?

* * *

 

“Hand me that wrench, Artoo.” The droid placed the tool in her hand, and Rey slid back underneath the fuselage. Repairing the X-wing was turning out to be a bigger job than she expected; she had no idea how long it had been underwater. Years, at least. There was corrosion all over the engine; algae had grown in the S-foils. She, Chewie and R2 worked for hours; Rey would only rest when she literally could not keep her eyes open any longer. The first time it happened, Chewie carried her back to the Falcon; she woke up in the same bunk she’d shared with Poe weeks ago, disoriented and longing.

She missed him. Truly, she hadn’t expected to be gone this long. She’d thought a day, at most. They lost hours when the storm blew in, forced to huddle in the Falcon until it passed. By the end of the third day, she was exhausted and aching from spending long hours disassembling the engine and cleaning the parts that could be saved, replacing the ones that couldn’t. The hyperdrive appeared to be intact, thankfully. But it was a small comfort. If she couldn’t fix the engine, then she couldn’t fly the ship back to base. And the entire trip would be for nothing.

She tightened the bolt and slid back out. “Do a diagnostic,” Rey commanded R2. “Let’s see if we’re any closer to getting this thing off the ground.” She took a long drink of water from her flask, then tossed it up to Chewie. She knew he thought the ship was a lost cause; he was simply too protective of her to say so.

It was time for a break. There wasn’t anything else she could do until R2 finished his scans. No one knew Luke Skywalker’s X-wing better than the loyal astromech. Every muscle hurting, she made the climb back to the Falcon. Perhaps it was time she tried to send a holo back to the base. Even across the distance, she could feel an echo of Poe’s anxiety, how much he tried to hide it. She hadn’t meant to worry him; she was trying to surprise him. But at what expense? She wasn’t used to having people who cared about her. She could _feel_ how much Poe cared about her.

Rey collapsed in the pilot’s seat and flipped on the ship’s transponder. She wasn’t sure she could get a signal out, but she wanted to try. She had to flip more switches, trying to find the right frequency. After half an hour, she gave up. Ahch-To was too remote; it was even possible that something in the planet’s atmosphere was interfering with communication.

Frustrated, she curled up in the seat and closed her eyes. If she focused, she could feel his warmth, just out of reach. She didn’t know why Poe felt so strongly to her; he always had, from the moment they met. It was unique to Poe Dameron. Why? One night as they lay under the stars, he’d told her more stories from his home on Yavin IV, his parents’ ranch. She hadn’t thought much about it then, but he’d said something about a Force tree. Like the one on Ahch-To, but vibrant and alive. Could that have given Poe a stronger connection to the Force? Or was it something else?

Rey didn’t know, but it was comforting to know he was out there and concerned about her. She felt worse, the longer she was away, for leaving without at least giving him some kind of indication. _I will return,_ she thought, trying to project her thoughts into the Force. Maybe, just maybe, he could hear her. _I will return to you, Poe._

 

Poe woke with a start, nearly banging his head on the metal frame of his bed. He’d been dreaming. Dreaming of what? He closed his eyes, trying to remember. Rey. She’d been there with him, smiling that adorable sexy smile only _he_ got to see. He swore she’d spoken, but he couldn’t make out the words. Groaning in frustration, he rolled over, fisting the pillow under his head. He needed to get a grip on himself. She was fine. She had to be. He was a leader in the Rebellion; he had to trust her.

Kriff, it was hard. Ever since their first kiss, she was all he could think about. If anything, it got _worse_ after their date under the stars. He knew what she tasted like, how she felt around him, how good it was to simply hold her. He was in so, so deep and it scared him.

He tried to go back to sleep. He really did. But he was too wired. If he closed his eyes, he could almost feel her beside him, even though she’d never once spent the night in his quarters. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her to. He just didn’t know if she was ready for something like that. Sometimes he forgot how young she was; she projected a maturity and strength beyond her years. But Poe was determined to do right by her; she deserved that. He didn’t want to be another person who disappointed her.

With sleep a distant memory, he decided to get dressed. Trousers, oil stained shirt, his trusty Resistance jacket, boots. He dressed methodically, ignoring his reflection in the mirror. He was certain it was awful. He felt awful.

Poe wandered out to the hangar, in search of something to do. They’d received a shipment of weapons and parts that morning from an anonymous source; no one had inventoried it yet. He found a spare datapad and got to work.

“Isn’t that a little beneath you, Commander?”

Poe jumped and whirled around. “General!”

Leia leaned on her walking stick, a bemused expression on her face. “I asked you a question, Poe.”

“Oh right. I, uh, couldn’t sleep.”

“So the commander of my fleet is doing inventory?”

“Someone has to do it.”

“I fail to see why that’s you.”

“Doesn’t a good leader lead by example?”

Leia gave him a wry grin. “Touche.” Then she tilted her head in concern. “Something bothering you, Poe? You’ve seemed distracted the last few days. And if you say it’s nothing, flyboy, I’m going to have grounded for lying to a superior officer.”

Poe shifted, uncomfortable. He didn’t want to burden Leia with this. She had the weight of the entire Rebellion on her shoulders. “It’s not a big deal. I’m handling it.”

“By doing inventory in the middle of the night?”

“Yeah?” It sounded pathetic, even to him. He sighed. “May I ask you a personal question?” Leia nodded. “Was it hard? During the war? Between you and General Solo?”

Leia’s eyes were sympathetic. “Every day,” she said softly. “But it made the good times more precious.” She reached out and placed her hand on his arm. “She’ll be back soon.”

“I just wish I knew why she left.”

Leia surprised him, her smile warm and mischievous. “I think you’ll be surprised.”

Poe frowned, confused. What did that mean? Before he could ask, Leia was speaking again. “Come on, Commander. If you insist on working, then you can help me. No rest for the weary!”

Reluctantly, Poe followed. He didn’t have anything else to do anyway. They spent hours going over the latest patrols; so far, there was no sign of the First Order. They hadn’t been discovered. Yet. More recruits came in every day, people with horror stories of First Order atrocities and mayhem, eager to help in any way they could. Supplies and ships remained their biggest problems. Thanks to his mission with Rey to Nixor, they had some fighters, but there were only two transports. No bombers. No command ships. No medical frigate. The First Order had Star Destroyers and Dreadnoughts, thousands upon thousands of stormtroopers. How could they hope to prevail? It seemed like a fool’s errand.

Poe rubbed his tired eyes, pushing himself away from the console. “How could the Republic let this happen?” he growled. “How could they let the First Order rise from the ashes of the Empire?”

“I’ve asked myself that same question a thousand times,” Leia said. “Let me know if you get an answer.”

“Apologies, General. I look at this and it just feels so…hopeless.” It didn’t help that he was part of the reason the Rebellion was so undermanned and undersupplied. His decisions cost them so much. He’d learned a painful lesson, but that didn’t make it easier to bear.

“Hope isn’t gone from the galaxy, Poe Dameron. It just got lost for a while. Every person who comes through those hangar doors comes here because they believe. They know we can win. And there are more of them out there. Did you know my father was at the very first meeting of the Rebellion?”

Poe blinked. “Really?”

“He was a Senator from Alderaan. He saw Palpatine’s machinations for what they were and gathered others to take the first steps to forming a resistance. But it wasn’t easy. It took nearly twenty years to build things up, to gather, in order to take the fight to the Empire.”

“Let’s hope it’s not twenty years this time.”

“I promise you, Poe. Others are out there. We just have to find them.”

“I hope you’re right, General.”

“Haven’t you learned by now, Commander? I’m always right.”

Poe tried to take her words to heart. He felt exhaustion creeping up on him, so he returned to his quarters. He shucked his jacket and boots before flopping down on the bed. He hoped Rey returned soon. He missed her.

 

* * *

 

A sharp knock woke him. “Poe! Poe! Come to the hangar! Quick!”

Poe groaned, eyes bleary as he blinked them open. “What’s going on? What’s the emergency?”

“Just come on!” Finn called.

Well, then. Poe rolled out of bed, wobbled for a moment, then hurriedly tugged on his boots. He slapped his hand down on the door release, which woke him up better than Finn’s yelling. His feet pounded against the permacrete as he ran, weaving through people to get to the hangar.

Only to skid to a halt.

The Millennium Falcon. It was back. Exactly where she usually sat, off in the far left corner. The ship was oddly deserted; Poe looked around for Rey. If the Falcon was back, then she had to be too. Right? People breezed past him, everyone gathering around a truly decrepit X-wing. Poe had only ever seen one of that make in his textbooks. One from the Rebellion; it had to be older than he was. Was that R2-D2 in the socket?

BB-8 rushed past him, plowing his way through the crowd, beeping gleefully. He could make out only one word clearly. _Rey._

Poe’s feet were moving before he made a conscious decision. He pushed his way through, getting to the foot of the ladder just as the canopy opened. Poe didn’t wait, charging up the ladder, eager to see her. “Rey?”

Rey pulled off her helmet— _Poe’s_ helmet—thankful to be on the ground. She made it! The jump through hyperspace almost did the old ship in, but now that she was back, she could fix it properly. What better greeting than Poe’s incredulous smiling face? “Um, hi.”

Poe laughed. “Hi. All she has to say is hi.” Ignoring the crowd around them, he bent and brushed his lips over hers. She felt just as soft as he remembered. “Sorry,” he whispered. “I couldn’t resist.”

She smiled, reaching up to tangle her fingers in his messy curls. “I don’t mind.” She kissed him again, harder this time; a chorus of whoops and cheers went up around them. They both blushed, a deep pink, but neither could stop smiling. Poe backed up, allowing Rey to climb down from the old ship. A droid helped R2 out of the socket; C-3PO was already scolding his friend for disappearing. But Rey slipped her hand into Poe’s, feeling triumphant.

Finn rushed up to her, beaming; Rey let go of Poe long enough to hug him. “I knew you’d be back,” he murmured.

“Well, of course, I was coming back,” Rey said with a frown. She looked to Poe, who looked a little bashful. “You didn’t seriously think I’d leave, did you?”

“No, I was just worried.”

She squeezed his hand. “I didn’t mean to be gone so long.” She leaned in, brushing her lips over his scruffy cheek. “Sorry.”

Before Poe could reply, Leia parted the crowd. “I can honestly say I never expected to see her again. Well done, Rey.”

For a moment, Poe was confused. Rey was standing right in front of the General. Then he realized she was staring at the X-wing. “What’s wrong with the ship?”

“Nothing a little love can’t fix, right, Rey?”

Rey nodded. “I have her ready in no time.”

“Rest first, dear. You look exhausted.”

Leia started to walk away, but Rey hurried after her. “I saw Luke.”

Leia seemed resigned. “Somehow I’m not surprised.”

“He was there but not there? Glowing blue?”

Leia chuckled. “Leave it to my brother to be dramatic. Did he say anything useful?”

“Just to trust my feelings, whatever that means.”

Leia rolled her eyes. Why were Jedi always so cryptic? “Do me a favor, Rey. Try to make the next generation of Jedi a little more forthcoming?”

Rey bit her lip. “I’ll try.”

“Good.” Leia reached out and grasped the younger woman’s hand. “It’s good to have you back. We missed you very much.” Her eyes flitted toward Poe and Rey understood her loud and clear.

“I missed everyone here too.”

Poe came up as Leia left. “What did she mean, Rey? What’s so special about _this_ X-wing?”

Rey looked the ship over from stem to stern. Having made it back, she was all too aware of the monumental nature of what she’d done. “This was Luke’s X-wing,” she explained. “Luke Skywalker. This is the ship that blew up the first Death Star.”

A hush seemed to settle over the crowd. People gazed up at the ship with new eyes, whispering to each other. Luke’s legend had only grown in the months since Crait; to have an artifact relating to man in their midst…it was hard to believe.

Poe looked at the ship again, dumbstruck. “How?”

“It was on Ahch-To. Submerged in water. We need ships, and yours crashed, so I thought…”

Poe looked from the X-wing to Rey in awe. “You went all the way back to Ahch-To, raised a ship from a watery grave…for _me?”_

“It sounds insane when you say it like that.”

Poe placed his hand gently on her shoulders. “That’s not what I what I meant at all. I just…Rey…I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you where I was going. I wanted it to be a surprise.” _In case I couldn’t do it._

Poe smiled broadly. “Consider me _very_ surprised.” He cupped her cheeks, bending down to kiss her. Rey relaxed, his kiss tender and sweet. She cried out in surprise when he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her off her feet and spinning her around. She found herself laughing, happier than she’d been in a long time.

* * *

 

Poe put the Rebellion’s best mechanics (those not named Rey) on the task of repairing Luke’s ship. He couldn’t think of it as his yet. It was a piece of history, something his parents had told him about as a child. He wanted it restored to its former glory. Rey had done the hard job of raising her and getting her to the base; it was time for her to rest.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Rey asked. “My quarters are just down the hall.”

“You look dead on your feet,” Poe said, caressing her cheek. “And I just got you back.” Then he sobered. “But if you’d rather…”

She grasped his wrist. “No, this is fine.” She kissed his knuckles, trying to tell him without words how much she missed him. “I’m sorry again for not telling you. I tried…”

Poe placed a finger to her lips. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

“I missed you, Poe.”

“I missed you too.” He was still floored by what she’d done for him, but he was far happier that she was back. Rey smiled hesitantly, reaching up to thread her fingers into his hair. Poe bent obediently, pressing his lips to hers. She sighed into it, flicking his bottom lip with her tongue. She was getting more confident in her desires all the time; Poe was all too willing to oblige her. He opened, groaning as she slid her tongue into his mouth.

Rey pressed herself closer, craving his warmth. She could feel him in the Force, vibrant and strong, no longer so far away. He was right here in her arms. Poe tightened his hold on her, stumbling a little. Feet shuffling, they ran into the bed, tumbling into it with twin surprised laughs. When they calmed down, Poe cupped her cheek, unable to look away. He’d felt lost, hopeless, without her and now he felt whole again. What had she done to him?

“What?” Rey flushed, intimidated by his stare.

“Nothing, I…I’m just happy you’re home.”

“Home.” She smiled down at him, her fingers tracing the contours of his face. “I’ve always wanted a home.”

“You’ve got one here. If you want it.”

Rey said nothing, struggling to hold in the tears that welled in her eyes. She didn’t want Poe to see her cry. He seemed to understand, coaxing her head down against his chest, simply content to hold her. She breathed deeply, listening to the steady thump of his heart.

Poe didn’t know how long they remained thus, but when he noticed her start to drop off into sleep, her gingerly shook her shoulder. “Hey. Let’s get you more comfortable before sleeping, okay?”

“Okay.” Reluctantly, Rey pushed herself up, rolling off him and onto the bed. “You’ll stay?”

“Well, these are my quarters.”

She smacked his arm. “No, I meant in the bed.”

“If you want me to.”

“I want you to.” She squeezed his hand, then stood, methodically stripping out of her clothes. She felt bone tired, but more at peace than she’d been in days. She and Poe had spent hours together, sans clothing; she was far less shy about her nudity now.

“Want some help?”

“Sure.” Rey raised her arms to give him access. Poe slowly uncoiled her breast band from her body, pausing to tenderly kiss the swell of each breast as it was exposed. She was even more beautiful than he remembered.

“I’ll be a good boy,” he promised, seeing how tired she was. “For now.”

She smiled, reaching for his pants. “I’m going to hold you to that, Commander.” They kissed slowly as she worked his pants open; good intentions or not, a naked Rey never failed to get a rise out of him. She bit her lip as they removed his clothes, his reaction to her proximity very clear.

“We’re just going to sleep,” he promised again. He was exhausted too; now that she was back, he seemed to feel it tenfold. “But when we wake up, I’m not making any promises.”

“Good.” She took his hand and gestured to the bed. “It was lonely, sleeping by myself.”

Poe scooped her up and laid her reverently in his bed before sliding in beside her. “Yeah?”

Rey snuggled under the blanket, drawn to the heat that radiated off him. “We worked on the ship a lot. Long hours. I’d fall asleep working. Chewie always took me back to the Falcon.” She flushed. “I woke up in our bunk.”

Poe grinned. “Our bunk. I like that. I wish I remembered what I said to you.”

“Would you like me to tell you?”

“If it’s not too terrible.”

“You said I was cute. And that I smelled nice.”

“Both of which are gross understatements. But I was delirious; I promise I can do better.”

“I’m sure you can, flyboy.”

They fell quiet, their mutual exhaustion catching up with them. Poe felt Rey fall asleep in his arms; her breathing evened out, each puff tickling his chest. He kissed the crown of her head, still marveling that she was back. In his arms. In his bed, skin to skin. He’d imagined it so many times and now he was too tired to truly enjoy it. He hoped this was the first of many nights (or in this case, days) together.

* * *

 

The sound of running water woke him. Poe groaned, reaching for Rey, but the bed was empty. If he couldn’t smell her unique scent in his pillows, he would have thought the night before had only been a dream. “Rey?”

The water shut off abruptly; a few moments later she stepped out of the fresher wrapped in a towel. “Did I wake you? Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. I just…missed you when I woke up.” It was setting a dangerous precedent, assuming she would be there when he awakened.

Her lips quirked up in a teasing grin. “I’m here now.” She sat on the edge of the bed; the towel just barely covered her.

“You are.” Poe sat up, the sheet pooling around his hips. He saw Rey look him over, her pupils dilating. He grinned. “I would be a shame to get you all dirty again, don’t you think?”

Rey traced his collarbone with her fingertips. She loved the way his skin felt against hers. “I think it would be a shame if I didn’t get dirty again, Commander. That is, if you’re up for it.”

Her hand on his body was having the desired effect; Poe grabbed her wrist and guided her hand to his crotch, still covered by the sheet. Rey took advantage, pressing her thumb along his length through the fabric. She was learning, thoroughly enjoying exploring him. Each time was a new adventure.

“I think…ugh, that I am very much ‘up for it,’” he replied, wetting his lips.

Rey leaned in, fusing her mouth to his. Poe grunted, catching her as they fell back into the bed. His fingers fumbled with the towel, needing several forceful tugs to get it off. Once she was free of the offending material, Poe flipped them over, smiling at her happy squeal. “Missed you so much,” he murmured, placing reverent kisses on her belly. Rey shivered as his scruff scratched over her delicate skin, a soft moan on her lips. Her lover moved slowly, lips caressing every inch of skin he could reach, the tip of his nose dragged over her skin. Rey gasped and arched, reaching for him, fingers sinking into his black curls.

“Kriff, don’t stop,” she breathed, her hips rolling fruitlessly, seeking friction. Poe had opened up a new realm of sensations, made her feel things she never dreamed were possible. When they were together like this, there was no conflict, no Dark Side, no Light; she was simply Rey and he was hers.

Poe kicked the sheet free, allowing him to move higher. Her nipples were a rosy pink, firm and erect, begging for his mouth. He teased her with licks and swirls, eager to draw those delicious sounds he loved from her lips. She was still learning her own body, the vast variety of ways to experience pleasure; he wanted to teach her everything, experience everything with her.

The longing she felt was like a physical ache; how long had it been since they were together? Too long in her opinion. She writhed, yanking forcefully on his hair, trying to get him to give her what she needed.

“Patience. You’re good at that, right, Rey?”

She scowled at him. “We can save patience for later. I missed you.”

He tenderly kissed the curve of her breast. “I know.” He leaned in to kiss her mouth, long slow drags of her tongue against his, his erection digging into her hip. He missed her too, s _o much,_ but he enjoyed her pleasure far too much to let her off that easily. Gently, he eased her thighs apart, the pads of his fingers gliding through her swollen flesh. “You did miss me.”

She rolled her eyes. “Shut up.”

“I think we can make that happen.” Rather than give her what he _knew_ she wanted, he spread out between her thighs, parting them even wider. He’d dreamed about this for a long time, in his quarters, in _his_ bed; he intended to enjoy it. Rey looked at him curiously, inhaling sharply as he dragged his tongue over her slit.

“Oh. _Oh.”_ She tried to watch him, but the ripples of pleasure that rolled through her were almost too much. Instinctively, she reached up and grabbed the pillow under her head, using as an anchor as he slowly drove her mad.

Poe held her legs open with his hands, but she was strong. Her hips ground against his face, coating his lips and chin with her essence. He didn’t mind in the least, not when she tasted so sweet. He teased her entrance with his tongue, dipping inside her. Rey moaned loudly, far too loud; anyone walking by his quarters would know exactly what they were doing. But that didn’t stop him. He loved getting her to lose control; she didn’t do it very often. He gave her a brief respite, lips touching her inner thigh, his thumb brushing over her sex. Rey whimpered, more aroused than she could ever remember. “Poe…please!”

He flashed her a sexy grin before wrapping his lips around her swollen nub. She climaxed almost immediately, just barely turning her head to release her scream into the pillow. Wave after wave shook her, Poe’s mouth still on her until her whole body trembled with aftershocks.

Poe gave her some room, easing his body into the space beside her. She was stunning, pale skin flushed, lips kiss bitten and swollen, eyes closed. She shivered as he caressed her; Poe placed a delicate kiss to her shoulder. “Still with me?”

“Hmmm?”

“Should I take your lack of words as a compliment?”

That got her to laugh, albeit weakly. “Don’t get cocky, Commander.”

He spooned up against her, his erection grinding into her ass. “Bit late for that, sweetheart.”

Rey’s eyes popped open, not expecting the endearment. She turned over, her breath still short, but it didn’t stop her from kissing her lover thoroughly. Poe moaned, relishing her soft curves against the hard planes of his chest. “Rey?”

“Shhh.” She poked at his hip, encouraging him to lay on his back. She scrambled up on top of him, wetting her lips as her sensitive flesh came into contact with his cock. She loved this part, teasing him, drawing out their desire just a little bit longer.

Poe could watch her for hours, but he needed to hold her. “Here,” he said, tapping her hip. “Just a second.” Rey moved, watching curiously as he sat with his back to the wall. “Want to join me?”

She grinned, eagerly climbing back into his lap. Poe wrapped his arms around her, his large hands stroking her back. Rey cupped his cheeks, the unshaven skin prickling hers. Their gazes remained locked, brown on hazel, desire, affection and something even more profound crackling around them. Rey moved first, closing the gap between them, touching her lips to his. Her thumbs stroked his cheekbones, his thumbs her lower back. Slowly, the kiss deepened, teasing flicks of tongue, noses brushing. Poe sucked on her tongue, nipped at her lips, stoking the fire in her belly. Wetness pooled between her legs; she rocked over his length faster.

“Rey,” Poe growled, his fingertips digging into her hips. _“Rey.”_

She loved the breathless way he said her name. She knew what he needed; she did too. She wrapped one hand around his neck as an anchor, the other sliding between their bodies. He helped her, angling her hips just right with those rough hands. Rey bit her lip as she took him in, the stretch so, so good. She whimpered, not prepared for the wave of emotion that gripped her.

Poe leaned his forehead against hers, tenderly rubbing her back. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “I’m right here.”

Rey kissed him again, harder, pouring everything she felt into it. She felt Poe shudder, his hold on her tighten. “Kriff…” he gasped. “What is that?”

“It’s us,” she whispered, lips caressing his cheeks, his nose, his closed lids. Her movements slowed, just a gentle grind, basking in the bright radiance she felt. “Just us.”

Poe groaned, not fully comprehending what he was feeling, but it was overwhelming. If there was any doubt that he loved the extraordinary woman in his arms, it was gone. “It’s beautiful.”

“It is.” She kissed him again, open mouthed needy kisses, and Poe responded, growling dangerously, his fingers digging into her hips. He held her to him, awkwardly coaxing her legs around his waist. She heeded him, his passion fueling hers, a surprised cry tumbling from her lips as he changed their positions again. Rey clung to him desperately, exchanging heated kisses as he rocked into her harder and faster. Another high coiled tighter and tighter in her belly, Poe’s pelvis grinding against her clit. They climaxed at nearly the exact same moment; they _felt_ each other’s pleasure, in a way they’d never experienced. Rey shuddered, tears stinging her eyes. She yanked Poe closer, fusing their lips together. They broke the kiss when air became an issue; Poe was shocked to see tears sliding down her temples.

“Kriff, Rey, did I hurt you?”

“No!” She smiled, wiping at her eyes. “Of course not.”

“Then what are these for?” He thumbed the tear tracks, even as he eased himself off her.

Rey bit her lip, thinking. “I’ve been alone…since I was small. I was just…waiting. I think deep down, I knew. I knew I was never leaving Jakku, because no one was coming.”

“Oh Rey.”

She found his hand, interlocking their fingers. “The Resistance practically dropped in my lap. Literally.”

Poe grinned. “Beebee-Ate.”

“And Finn. And you, even though that took longer.” He smiled, kissing the back of her knuckles. “Everything changed so fast; there’s so much about myself that I don’t understand.” Poe remained quiet, letting her gather her thoughts. She liked that about him. Very much. “Sometimes I wonder if I can trust my own feelings.”

Poe tenderly brushed a lock of hair away from her face. “What are they telling you?”

“That I like this. Us. But I’ve been wrong before. So wrong, and people got hurt because I was wrong.”

Poe squeezed her hand. “Then you must truly be a mind reader, because I feel the same way.”

 _Ask your pilot,_ Luke had said. Was this what he meant? “I didn’t…”

Poe kissed her quiet. “Shh, I know you didn’t. I just meant that I understand. After you left to find Luke…I made some choices that got a lot of people killed. Good men and women. I was short sighted and reckless; I didn’t see the big picture. I’m a fighter pilot. I’ve always been a fighter pilot. I see the mission in front of me, sometimes too much. The General tried to tell me, but I wouldn’t listen. In trying to save everyone, I lost many. Too many. I sent Finn and Rose on that insane mission…what if they hadn’t come back? I failed, and it haunts me.”

Rey raised her head, tenderly brushing her lips against his. “You’re a good man, Poe Dameron.”

“I try to be.” He squeezed her fingers, smiling shyly. “I like us too. A lot. I thought I was going crazy, I missed you so much.”

“Sorry,” she said again.

“Rey, you did something extraordinary for me. Don’t be sorry. You made it back to me, and that’s all that matters.”

If there was ever a time to tell him about Ben…this was it. She bit her lip. “Poe, there’s something else I should tell you.”

“About this mistake you made? You don’t have to, not if you’re not ready.”

“No, you need to know.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“When I was on Ahch-To, something happened. I started to …see Kylo Ren. And he could see me. We were connected through the Force…somehow.” Snoke claimed responsibility, not that it made her feel better. “It happened over and over again. I didn’t want it, but I didn’t know how to make it stop.”

“Did he hurt you?”

“No, nothing like that. But he used me. He showed me what happened with Luke at the Jedi Temple, at least what he thought happened. And I felt sorry for him. I thought there was a chance I could bring him back from the Darkness. Luke thought I was wrong, so I went to Snoke’s ship on my own.”

Poe blinked in surprise. Frankly, he didn’t see how anyone could think Kylo Ren was worth saving, but he was Leia’s son. He had to have been good once. Long ago. “You went there alone?”

“I didn’t see any other way.” She’d only told Leia the details of what happened on Snoke’s ship; Leia sensed it even before Rey told her. “I was trying to save all of you.”

The pain and shame in her eyes broke his heart. Poe coaxed her into his arms, tugging the blanket up around them. “What about now? Have you seen…him?”

Rey shook her head. “Not since we left Crait. It seems to have stopped just as quickly as it came. But what if it’s not gone? What if I accidentally put all of you in danger?” She’d never voiced that fear before. But now she had so much more to lose.

“Sounds to me that we need an expert.”

“But who? Master Luke’s gone. There are no more Jedi.”

“Maybe not a Jedi.”

Rey bit her lip. The only other person she knew that had the Force was Leia. Then she remembered. Maz. Maz wasn’t a Jedi, but she seemed to understand the Force in a way Rey didn’t. “I think I know just the person.”

Poe smiled. “See? Now we have a plan.”

“Some plan.”

“Everything will work out. You’ll see.”

Rey felt like a burden had been lifted off her shoulders. Poe knew now, and he still wanted her. She was about to thank him when her belly rumbled. “Oh.”

“Sounds like someone’s hungry.”

“Maybe a little.”

“How about this. We’ll have something to eat, shower, then get started on this plan of yours.”

“I already showered.”

He grinned. “Then we got you all dirty again. This time you’ll have a partner.”

She smiled back, a ghost of that radiant vibrant feeling coming back to her. She liked it. A lot.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the amazing feedback! I'm reading all your comments, even if I don't have time to reply. I hope you enjoy this update, which features by pet theory for Damerey, post TLJ. :) Let me know what you think!

Poe struggled against his restraints, futilely seeking a way out. There were stormtroopers on every side, but if he could get free, he had a chance. All he needed was a chance.

Sweat poured down his neck; his shirt was soaked with it. Foreboding settled in his belly; he couldn’t explain it. He needed to get out of there. Too many people were counting on him. _She_ was counting on him. He couldn’t fail her.

Poe grunted, his skin red and raw from struggling. “Come on,” he muttered under his breath. _“Come on.”_

He heard an outer door hiss open, his eyes flashed to the door in a panic. No. No! No! _He_ was coming. Poe needed to get out of there _now._ His heart pounded hard against his ribs; he bit hard on his lip, drawing blood. He spat, a dangerous growl on his lips, yanking with all his strength. The troopers were _laughing_ at him; true panic settled in his heart.

The door opened; a tall figure robed entirely in black stepped through it. The hood did not hide the ominous mask, the heavy breathing. Poe glared at his jailor with pure hate, still struggling against his restraints. The cloaked figure said nothing; he held his hand out, forcing Poe back against the table, so hard his head struck the metal, leaving him dazed. Sick to his stomach, Poe’s vision swam. “I’m not telling you anything.”

“I don’t need you to _tell_ me,” the robed figure said. The voice was almost robotic, muffled by the mask. “You’re going to show me.”

“No!”

“The girl. Where is the girl?”

Rey. No! Poe had to protect her. He closed his eyes, trying to close his mind, to picture anything, _anything,_ but the woman he loved. He couldn’t let this monster near her.

_“Where. Is. The. Girl?”_

Suddenly it felt like a thousand knives were poking into his mind, slicing away his defenses, his very self. Poe screamed and screamed and screamed, the pain unbearable.

Rey woke with a gasp, her heart pounding. Beside her, Poe lay curled in a ball, whimpering in his sleep, clearly distressed. She reached over and shook him, desperate to wake him. “Poe, Poe! Wake up!”

Poe’s eyes snapped open, reaching and kicking blindly. Rey flung herself over him, trying to calm him. “Poe, it’s me! It’s Rey,” she cried. “Rey.”

Poe blinked, finally seeing her. “Rey?”

She smiled in relief. “Yeah, it’s me.” She kissed his damp forehead; he was covered in sweat. “You were having a nightmare.”

Poe groaned. “Kriffing hell. Rey, I’m sorry.”

She shook her head, brushing her fingers over his cheek. “Shhh. It’s okay.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m more worried about you.”

His heart was slowing, his bone deep anxiety fading under his lover’s gentle touch. “I’ll be okay. Not my first nightmare.” He rolled them over, so they could lay on their sides and he could hold her better. “I’m sure it won’t be the last.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Given what she’d told him about Kylo Ren, he didn’t think that was wise. He didn’t want her to feel responsible for him. He’d been having a similar nightmare for months now, ever since that monster rooted around in his head. Before it was like he was reliving his torture, his desperation to keep BB-8 and the information he carried safe. Now Kylo was after Rey, which was an entirely different hell. Poe refused to burden her with his problems. He could handle it. “I appreciate that, but it really was just a dream.”

Rey looked at him intently. “I…think I felt it. You. You were terrified.”

“I’m so sorry, Rey.”

She held his hand tightly in hers. “I’m glad I did.”

“Glad?”

“I care about you, Poe. A lot.” She blushed. “I want to be here for you.”

Her words touched him deeply. It was the closest they’d come to saying the words he desperately wanted to say. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. But he didn’t want to push her too far, too fast. He cupped her head, threading her fingers into her hair as he leaned in to kiss her sweetly. “Thank you.”

Rey kissed him back, not sure what else to do. She was still learning how to be in a relationship, how to care for someone else. She couldn’t describe the feelings she had for Poe, other than being with him made her incredibly happy. He responded to her kiss, pulling her flush against him, lips parting easily. She deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue over his, hoping he could feel all the things she was too afraid to say. His calloused hands glided over her smooth skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“Poe…”

“Yes?” He kissed her jaw, her tender throat, her collarbone. Washing away the nightmare in her arms seemed like a good plan to him.

“Is this okay?” she asked, canting her hips. Her leg moved over his hip of its own accord, desire coiling in her belly.

“More than,” he promised. He kissed her again, deeply, drawing her leg even higher. “Best cure imaginable, darling.” He ground against her, moaning at how quickly she became wet for him. “My Rey.”

She nodded hard, fusing her mouth to his. She dragged his hand to her breast, shuddering as he toyed with her nipple, rubbing and plucking at it until it ached. “Ugh, more.”

He rolled her on her back, grinning as he took the hard bud into his mouth. Rey arched, a jolt of pleasure shooting to her core. Her legs fell open, hungry for him. He teased her with those nimble fingers, playing her as expertly as the X-wings he loved to fly. The ache in her core was exquisitely painful; he never quite let her fall over the edge.

“You are so beautiful,” he murmured into her skin. He sucked a mark into her hip, three thick fingers pushing into her heat. “Want to keep you here, Rey. Always.”

She moaned, her head thrashing. She would gladly stay anywhere he wished if he could make her feel like this. When he wrapped his lips around her sensitive clit, she was done for, coming hard, a wave of color exploding behind her eyes. She bucked against him, a litany of moans tumbling from her lips. Poe didn’t stop, dragging every drop of pleasure from her lithe form until she was a trembling mess.

“Uuuuuggghhhh,” she whined when he pulled away at last.

“Good?”

She struggled to open her eyes. “Yeah.” She inhaled sharply, watching in fascination as he licked her essence from his skin.

He caught her watching him. “Taste?”

She hesitated for a moment; would he be repulsed if she said yes? Rey couldn’t deny being curious. She wanted to experience everything with Poe. Slowly, she nodded.

Poe held back his growl as he offered her his wet fingers. His cock twitched as she tentatively took her first taste, her shy eagerness incredibly arousing. Rey moaned, grabbing his wrist to hold him to her while she licked him clean. A fresh wave of need washed through her; she could see it reflected in her lover’s eyes. Rey sat up, climbing quickly into Poe’s lap. He crouched on the bed, kissing her deeply as she ground herself over his straining cock. “Kriff, Rey,” he grunted.

“I want…” She shivered, the hard ridge of him rubbing her just right. “I need to feel you inside me. Please.”

Poe nodded, coaxing her legs around his hips. Together, they lowered her onto him, her sigh of pleasure almost too much for him. “Good?”

She nodded. “So good.” He filled her up perfectly, every thick inch of him stretching her just right. She didn’t think she’d ever be over how amazing this felt. Rey kissed him hard, grinding against him, keeping him within her. It was torture, the very best kind, feeling him inside her. Poe’s hands fell to her ass, holding her tightly to him as he thrust up. Slowly at first, so he could enjoy being inside her tight wet depths. They’d been lovers for weeks now, and it still felt the same. Like he was the luckiest man in the whole galaxy.

Rey arched, biting her lip as he rode her. She wrapped her arms around Poe’s neck, need clawing at her. She’d never been so close to anyone and somehow, it still didn’t feel like enough. She needed more. Wetting her lips, Rey shoved at her lover’s shoulders, forcing him against the mattress with a soft thud. Poe groaned, her aggression exciting him. “Tell me what you need, Rey.”

She straddled him, taking him back into her body. “I don’t know.” Her eyes fell closed as she reveled in the feel of him, the way his cock stroked her walls. “Why does this feel so good?”

He took her hand, interlocking their fingers. “Focus on me, Rey,” he coaxed gently. She was killing him slowly, his cock glistening with her arousal. He reached up with his free hand, cupping her breast. She whimpered, arching into his touch. “Look at me.”

She shivered at the authoritative note in his voice. She wouldn’t mind hearing it again. She obeyed, opening her eyes to look at him. Poe looked wrecked, pleasure written all over his handsome face. Pleasure that she’d given him. It floored her. “My Poe.”

He smiled. “Yeah. Yours.” He coaxed her down, kissing her thoroughly. “I’m all yours.”

She whined, the change in angle sending new waves of pleasure through her. “Oh! Don’t stop. Please.”

“Hang on to me.” She did so, burying her head in his shoulder as he took her with hard rough strokes. The pleasure mounted, higher and higher and higher, until it snapped, Rey’s scream of ecstasy muffled by his neck. Poe followed quickly, her walls milking him dry, her name on his lips. She was trembling in his arms; he wasn’t ashamed to admit that he was equally affected, shaking as he held her. He loved her so much; it made his nightmare more terrifying.

He couldn’t lose her.

Rey sensed the change in him; she kissed his cheek lovingly. “Still with me, flyboy?”

He smiled, not minding the nickname when it came from her. “Yeah. That was incredible.”

“I think we might be getting good at it.”

He grinned. “You think?”

She shrugged. “I don’t have anything to compare it to, so I’ll just have to trust you.”

She looked away, but he tipped her chin up. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Rey. You can tell me. Anything, I promise.”

She bit her lip, unsure. But his brown eyes were begging her to trust him. “Why me?” she asked.

“Why you?” He moved them into a more comfortable position, keeping their hands locked together. “Don’t you know how amazing you are?”

“Everything I do seems to fail.”

“There’s an X-wing in the hangar that would beg to differ. I’ve seen you do extraordinary things, Rey. Even without your Jedi gifts…you’re strong and fierce, kind and compassionate. You try to see the best in everyone, even when they disappoint you. But Rey…I don’t plan on being one of those people.”

She wanted to believe him so badly. She did believe him. Poe was one of the best men she knew, not that she knew many. But there was a spark in his eyes that she trusted. He understood her, despite their different backgrounds. But Poe was handsome and respected. He could be with anyone, yet he chose her. She laid her hand over his heart, felt it beat under her fingertips. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. Here.” He let go of her hand, pressing their palms together. “Look inside, Rey. See what we can be together.”

She closed her eyes; the Force was right there, humming between them. It felt like Poe, warm and inviting, a place of peace, away from the storm that surrounded them. She looked deeper, light seemed to surround them. Happiness. Family. A building she didn’t recognize shimmered in the background, but it wasn’t threatening. It felt like _home._ Profound longing gripped her; she whimpered. Poe leaned in, brushing his lips over her forehead. He couldn’t see what she saw, but he felt what she felt. He didn’t know how or why this connection existed between them, but he reveled in it. It was unlike anything he’d ever experienced.

“What did you see?”

“A future,” she whispered. “Home.”

“Home.” He hugged her tight, kissing her hairline. “You feel like home to me, Rey.”

She sniffed. “I’ve never been home anywhere…except here. With you.”

“That’s all I want for you, Rey.”

“I want you to be happy too.”

“I am, darling. Very happy. So happy it scares me.”

“Really?” It was such a relief to know she wasn’t the only one who was scared.

He nodded. “Yeah. I’ve never felt like this.”

She frowned. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“Why? Because I’m older than you?” She nodded, blushing. Poe wove his fingers into her soft hair. “I joined the New Republic army as soon as I was old enough. I wanted to serve and make my parents proud.”

Rey felt a wave of sympathy; Poe lost his mother at a young age too. “I’m sure they are.”

Poe smiled. “Dad is. I haven’t spoken to him in a long time though.” It was too dangerous to try and communicate via holo; he didn’t want to put his father in any unnecessary danger. He hoped Kes was alright.

“I’m a soldier, Rey. A fighter pilot. It’s all I know how to be.” He took a deep breath; he hoped his next words didn’t hurt her. “I won’t lie to you. I’ve been with a few others. But I promise you, I’ve never felt like this. I never…” He trailed off, unsure. Even now, she made him nervous.

“Never what?”

He brought her hand to his lips, brushing them over the pads of her fingers. A loving, intimate gesture. He saw her smile, the way her eyes lit up gave him courage. “You’re the first woman I’ve truly loved.”

It seemed impossible, yet she believed him. She felt it, every time they touched. That was why she was so scared. She didn’t want to lose it. She always lost. Still, she couldn’t stop the smile that curved her lips. “I know.”

“That’s a relief,” he quipped, smiling back.

Rey leaned up and kissed his brow. “I can feel it. Feel us. It’s warm and happy.”

“I wish we understood how that worked.”

“Me too.”

“We should try to contact Maz again.” He wanted to help Rey get the answers she sought. Answers he needed too. If he was going to be with a Jedi, he needed to know what that meant for them. They’d been trying to reach the old pirate for almost a week and had no luck. Considering the firefight he’d seen her in the last time he spoke to her, he couldn’t say he was surprised. As far as he knew, Takadona had fallen under First Order control. Another world they couldn’t help.

“What if something’s happened to her?”

“We can’t think like that. Maz has survived this long. We’ll find her.”

“I hope so.”

Poe kissed her lips, surprised at her response. Rey melted into him, her delicate hands stroking his chest. “Rey?”

“Let’s go shower,” she whispered. “People will miss us soon.”

“I like the way you think, sweetheart.”

 

* * *

 

An hour later, Poe exited his quarters, his hair still damp from the shower. Rey was still dressing, but he wanted to try to hail Maz again. He was increasingly sure it was the only way they were going to get any answers. A couple of times he and Rey tried to examine the books she’d brought from Ahch-To, but there were no answers in them. Just a lot of vague instructions about meditation and the Force. Quite possibly even drier reading than his old Academy textbooks.

That was saying something.

He moved through the hangar, a smile on his face as he passed the X-wing. Luke’s. Now his. Poe still marveled at the gift, all the trouble Rey had gone to. The techs were still repairing the old ship, but he’d sat in the cockpit once. Just to get a feel for the old girl. Some of the knobs and switches were different from what he was used to, but he could fly anything. He couldn’t wait to take her up.

“Poe! Poe!”

He spun around, surprised to see Jess waving at him from across the hangar. “Hey Jess,” he said, hurrying over to her. “Something wrong?”

“Nothing a good astromech can’t fix,” she said, wiping sweat from her brow. “These Y-wings are ancient.”

“It’s the best we’ve got,” he replied. “But I’ll see if Beebee-Ate or Artoo can give you a hand.”

“Thanks.” Jess glanced over at the latest edition to the hangar. “That’s some new ride you got.”

He scratched behind his ear, a little embarrassed. “Yeah, I’m having trouble believing it myself.”

“What’s hard to believe? That your girlfriend flew halfway across the galaxy to replace your ship or that said ship once belonged to Luke kriffing Skywalker?”

That got him to laugh. “Both?” he said, honestly. Then he realized it was the first time anyone—including himself—had referred to Rey as his girlfriend. She was simply Rey to him. The woman he loved. He didn’t need a label to understand what she was to him. He thought about the ring that—even now—hung around his neck. One day he would give it to her. Just not today.

Then Jess’s face turned serious. “I’m happy for you, Poe. As your friend, it’s good to see you happy. There’s enough heartache in the galaxy.”

“Thanks, Jess.”

Jess shoved at his shoulder; she never could let the moment get _too_ serious. “Get out of here, Dameron. I’m sure _someone’s_ looking for you.”

He was smiling as he turned away; Jess was one of the few survivors from Black Squadron. She would have had every right to hate him after the fight with the Dreadnought, but she didn’t. She was still his friend. For that, he was grateful.

Jess, as it turned out, was right. Rey was looking for him. “Hey, I thought you were going to the comm room?”

“I was. I got a bit waylaid by Jess. She’s working on one of the Y-wings.”

“Those are tricky. Maybe I should go…”

Poe took her hand, ignoring all the people moving around them. After her arrival with the X-wing, their relationship wasn’t a secret anymore. “Let’s try Maz again first. Then you can get elbow deep in grease.”

She rolled her eyes. “Mechanics are important, Commander,” she teased.

“Yes, very.” He leaned in next to her ear. “If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you were angling for another shower.”

Heat burned her cheeks. Damn him! “And if _I_ didn’t know better, I’d swear you were just trying to distract me.”

“Now why would I want to do that?”

She looked him up and down, instinctively wetting her lips. She couldn’t help it; he was gorgeous. “Because you enjoy it far too much.”

He laughed. “I do.” He leaned and kissed her forehead. “Come on, let’s see if we can find Maz.” He gave her hand a quick squeeze before letting go. When they were out and about, they tried to keep the couple-like gestures to a minimum. Sometimes they couldn’t help it, Poe especially. His instinct was to comfort and protect her, even though he knew she didn’t necessarily need it. Rey, who’d been without someone who cared about her for so long, never protested or complained. Poe might believe she was strong, and perhaps she was, but it was so exhausting. Poe allowed her to be vulnerable. Sometimes she needed that. It was one of the things she loved most about him.

Leia offered them a fond smile and nod as they entered the room; she was in on the “find Maz” plan. After what happened on the _Raddus_ , Poe never wanted to fail her again. Rey’s training as a Jedi was important to the entire Rebellion; if there was anyone left in the galaxy who could give them some answers, it was Maz Kanata.

Rey sat at the comm console, her fingers moving automatically. They’d tried this so many times now, she knew the sequence by heart. “Please let this work,” she muttered. Every failed attempt sat uneasily on her heart. Maz was her last hope for answers. Every day she was afraid that Kylo Ren would suddenly appear to her. If he did, she might inadvertently give away the location of the base, bringing the First Order down on them. People could die. She could lose Poe or Finn, Rose or Leia. She had a family of sorts now and she was determined to protect them.

She had to be certain that Kylo Ren was gone from her head.

Poe laid a gentle hand on her shoulder; he was just as anxious. Anything might have happened since the last time he and Finn spoke to Maz. He prayed she was safe, for Rey’s sake. Every since she admitted her fears about Kylo Ren, he could see it lingering in her eyes. He was afraid too. For Rey, for all of them. He was furious that Kylo had manipulated Rey in a such a way, using her kindness and compassion against her. It was cruel. Most of all, he hated that it made Rey doubt herself. She was the most incredible person Poe had ever met, someone who deserved love and family and a future.

The connection flickered to life. “Maz? Are you there? It’s…Rey. And Poe, Poe Dameron.” She looked up at Poe, who smiled encouragingly. “I only met her once,” Rey reminded him. “She might not remember me.”

“You’re a difficult person to forget,” Poe said with a fond smile.

She rolled her eyes at him, but secretly let his words warm her heart. It was getting easier and easier to believe that people really did care about her, that she was no longer the forgotten girl on Jakku. Poe loved her.

As usual, there was no response. Rey tried again, a couple more times before giving up. “I’m going to go help Jess,” she said with a heavy heart.

“Okay. See you in a bit.” Poe squeezed her hand before she walked away. He could see the continued failure settle heavily on her shoulders and it hurt. She deserved better. Determined, Poe took her spot at the console, sending out the hail as often as he dared. Their gear was as secure as they could make it, but First Order spy droids were everywhere. Even if such a droid couldn’t pinpoint the base’s location, trying to reach Maz could place _her_ in their sights.

After more than two hours, even Poe considered giving up. Perhaps they could simply go to Takadona? Could they risk it without knowing exactly where Maz was hiding? Her castle was most likely in the hands of the First Order by now. She could be anywhere. Although, if they did go, Rey’s Force abilities might come in handy. Was that a thing? He still knew so little about the true scope of her power. Still, it didn’t hurt to ask. He was about to go find her when the holo flickered.

“Is…there?” The transmission was spotty, the image hazy and indistinct.

Poe adjusted the settings, trying to get a clear image, hope surging in his chest. “Maz? Maz, is that you?”

The old pirate grinned at him, her features coming into focus. “Poe Dameron? Are you the one who’s been trying to find me?”

He smiled, sinking into the chair in relief. “Yeah. Where have you been?”

“I’ve been trying to get this hunk of space junk to work,” she replied, as if it should have been obvious. She kicked something; the image flickered again. She adjusted something on her end and it stabilized. “Now just what does the most handsome pilot in the galaxy want with me?”

“Technically, it’s not me. It’s Rey.”

“Ah yes. I thought so.”

Poe didn’t even want to know. “She’s helping fix one of our Y-wings; let me go get her.”

“Hurry back!”

Poe ordered a nearby junior officer to keep the line open while he dashed for Rey. “Rey! Rey!” he hollered across the hangar. _“Rey!”_

Rey heard Poe’s voice and scrambled out from under the Y-wing. “What?”

“It’s Maz! She’s on the holo right now!”

 _“What?”_ But she didn’t bother to wait for a reply; Rey was on her feet in a flash. There were grease smudges on her face and arms but that hardly mattered. She raced after Poe, hair streaming behind her. People hurried out of their way, clearing the path. They both skidded to a stop in front of the console, breathing hard.

“Well, don’t you two make a fine couple,” Maz said, looking them over. Poe had a stitch in his side or he would have laughed. “Now, my dear, what did you need?”

Rey struggled to get her words out; all her questions seemed to overwhelm her. And here was the one person in the galaxy she trusted to give her some answers. “I have…questions,” she said at last. “And I really think you might be the only one who can answer them.”

“Hmmm. I’m not sure how helpful I can be,” Maz said gravely. “But I will try. I’m afraid you will have to come here; there is no way for me to get to you.” Poe took down the coordinates, sharing a smile with Rey. She looked relieved. Relieved and hopeful.

“Thanks, Maz. We’ll be there soon.”

“I’m sure you will, Poe Dameron.” She then looked at them both sternly. “Bring the Wookie.”

“Chewie?”

“Do you know any other Wookies?” Maz laughed. “I’ve missed him.”

“We’ll bring him,” Rey promised. Indeed, there was no way Chewie would let them take the Falcon alone. For some reason, he still didn’t trust Poe.

The transmission ended. Poe pulled her into a hug and Rey let herself truly relax. She hadn’t realized how anxious she was about finding Maz until that moment. Poe felt her relief. “See? What did I tell you?” he murmured. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

* * *

 

The sun was setting as the Millennium Falcon took off. Once they cleared the atmosphere, it would still be a few hours until they reached Takadona. Rey remained in the pilot’s seat until they made the jump into hyperspace; she was having trouble sitting still. It was hard to believe that after all these months of uncertainty she might finally get some answers. Perhaps not all the answers she was looking for, but she’d take what she could get.

She couldn’t bear it if she was putting people she loved in danger, simply by being around her.

Poe lingered in the crew quarters; he didn’t want to antagonize Chewbacca. He still couldn’t figure out why the Wookie disliked him so much. Rey thought he was just being protective, but Poe wasn’t so sure. Until he could win the Wookie over, he thought it best to stay out of his way.

Rey appeared, much to his surprise. “Hey. Something wrong?”

“No, everything’s fine. We should be at Takadona in a couple of hours.”

“Then why do you look so lost?”

Rey didn’t reply; she simply stepped into his arms. Poe hugged her close, his lips skimming her forehead. “I’ve wondered for so long,” she murmured. “About my parents. About me, this power inside me. Maz once told me that the answers I sought lay ahead of me. But everything I’ve done since then has only made me more confused.” Except this. Her relationship with Poe felt right.

“The answers we need aren’t always the ones we seek,” he said gently. “Perhaps what’s important isn’t how or why you have the power you do. Perhaps it’s all about what you do with it.”

“I never wanted this. I just wanted a family.”

“You have one now,” he said firmly, entwining their fingers. “With me. And Finn and Rose. Leia. We all care about you, Rey.”

“You forgot Chewie,” she teased.

“Shhh, don’t tell him.” Rey leaned up and kissed him. “What was that for?”

“Always knowing how to make me feel better.”

“It’s okay to be scared, Rey. We all are at some point.”

Rey smiled and slipped her hand into his. Poe thought they might go back to the cockpit, but she guided them to the sabacc table instead. They sat, Rey tucking her feet under her, so she could snuggle against him. Poe put his arm around her, more than willing to ease some of the weight she carried on her shoulders. He couldn’t imagine what it must be like; she was the last of her kind. A Jedi. They’d been all but extinct for more than a generation; there was no guide, no rules for her to follow. He saw her grow more powerful every day, training, meditating. She was so far out of his league and he knew it. And yet he loved her. For some reason, they seemed to share a connection; he never wanted to betray that. She’d suffered enough.

Rey allowed her eyes to close, soaking in the peace and comfort Poe offered. So much of her life had been a struggle. It still was. She struggled with her identity, her place in the galaxy. She was a nobody from Jakku who seemed to have this destiny laid out before her. How was she supposed to deal with that? Could she truly bring back the Jedi? Luke had said it was time for the Jedi to evolve. Evolve into what? How? Were there others out there like her? Even if there were, how could she teach that which she herself did not know?

It was too big of a task for someone like her.

The ship shuttered as they dropped out of hyperspace. It felt too early to Rey; she jumped up and dashed for the cockpit, Poe on her heels. “What’s going on?”

Chewie growled and pointed at the window. Takadona lay ahead of them; a single Star Destroyer hovering over the planet. It was one of the smaller ones, but still.

“We knew there would be some First Order presence,” Poe said quietly. “We’ll just have to go around.”

Chewie turned to him and barked angrily. Like all of this was _Poe’s_ fault. “Hey, I just wrote down the coordinates, buddy. I didn’t bring them here!”

Rey stepped between them. “Stop it, both of you,” she snapped. She hopped into the pilot’s seat and took over. “Poe’s right. We’ve come too far to fail.” She was done failing. It was time to take control of her fate.

Poe moved into the seat behind her, tightening the belt. He’d flown with her enough times to trust her instincts. She was a natural, like him. Also like him, she was willing to take risks other people wouldn’t. He couldn’t believe she’d learned everything on a simulator. It was just another way she was special.

They were far enough away to still be outside the range of the Star Destroyer’s sensors. Rey banked to the right, opening the exhaust for the sublight engines. She only held it open for a few seconds, long enough for some of the bright blue matter flow into space. “That should get their attention.” She flew straight for one of Takadona’s moons, intending to hover on the far side until the Star Destroyer was out of their way.

It was a brilliant plan. Poe was very proud when he saw the Destroyer pull away from the planet. Once the coast was clear, Rey restarted the Falcon’s engines and made a mad dash for the planet. Not for nothing was the Millennium Falcon the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy. They broke the atmosphere well before the Star Destroyer made the turn to resume its patrol. Chewie cheered; Poe reached forward to squeeze her shoulder. Rey flashed him a triumphant grin, then inputted the coordinates to get to Maz.

Takadona was not the same place she’d left. Large swaths of jungle were burned away or smoldering; it made Rey’s heart hurt. When she’d first come here, it was a new and exciting place, lush and green. Greener that she could have believed existed. It was the opposite of Jakku, stark and desolate. Takadona was vibrant and alive.

Until now.

They flew near what was once Maz’s castle, the ruins smoldering. A wave of sadness and guilt swept through her; this was her fault too. If she hadn’t insisted on returning BB-8 to the Resistance, the First Order would have never come to this place.

Poe felt the change in her; it worried him. He unbuckled his belt and leaned over her shoulder. “You okay?”

“Why must there be so much destruction?”

“I don’t know,” he replied honestly. “But it’s up to us to stop it.”

She looked up at him, the doubt etched in her beautiful features. “Do you really think we can?”

“I know we can.” He brushed her lips across her cheek. “Together we can do anything.”

A ghost of a smile brightened her face. “Together.”

Poe resumed his seat; Chewie offered him a grudging nod of thanks. Perhaps he could get the Wookie to warm up to him after all.

An alarm sounded, alerting them to Maz’s location. Rey searched for a place to set the ship down. They were flying through a valley; huge mountains rose on either side of them. Poe thought he saw caves dug into the hillside. A good hiding place.  The riverbank appeared relatively flat; the trees would offer some camouflage should First Order scouts fly overhead.

“So which one is it?” Poe asked as they marched down the gangplank.

Rey scanned through her goggles. “I think it’s that one,” she said, pointing to an outcropping about two hundred feet up.

“That’s quite a climb.”

“Scared, Commander?”

He grinned. “Nope.” He let her lead, the memory of their first mission together flooding his mind. At least Takadona was warm. Poe would never have guessed where that mission would lead, but he wouldn’t change a single moment. All of that led him here, to being with Rey. Something impossible and wonderful at the same time. If they could be happy together, then anything was possible.

Rey was grateful for Poe’s presence. He’d come to mean so much to her; she couldn’t imagine taking this journey without him. Whatever the future held, she wanted him to share it with her. She wanted her vision to come true.

They reached the small plateau, a place where the sheer rock of the mountain leveled off for a few feet. The opening appeared to be a natural fissure; Rey reached out with the Force, just in case. She could sense nothing amiss. Nodding to Poe, she stepped forward, her staff in hand. As they entered the cave, they heard sounds, people and aliens…it sounded like a small city! Chewie growled a warning, but Rey kept going. “Maz? Maz, it’s us.”

Light flickered ahead, and they followed it. Poe pulled out his blaster, not wanting to be caught unawares. He saw Chewie do the same with his bowcaster. The light grew brighter, Rey saw steps ahead. Steps? As she got closer, she saw they were hewn out of the rock itself. “Maz?”

“Down here, child!”

Rey shared a look with Poe, then started down the steps. She held her staff in front of her, ready for an assault. She’d learned the hard way not to be too careful. It reminded her of the gloomy rooms under Maz’s castle, the place where she’d found Luke’s lightsaber. It had called to her, not that she understood why. Now it was destroyed.

An alien she didn’t recognize dashed in front of her; Rey jumped back in surprise. Poe caught her before she could stumble, setting her to rights quickly. Torches flickered; it took a few moments for their eyes to adjust. “What _is_ this place?”

A familiar voice answered her. “Home,” Maz said quietly. “For now.”

Rey dropped to her knees, hugging the old pirate. Meeting Maz felt like another lifetime to Rey, but she was so happy to see her. “Maz.”

Maz patted Rey on the back. “It is good to see you too. Much has changed since we last met.”

Rey stood, flushing. That was an understatement. “Maz, this is Poe…”

“Yes, I know.” Maz winked at Poe, who blushed. It was cute. “You certainly do have an eye for the good looking ones, dear.”

Poe knelt too, hugging his friend. “It’s good to see you.”

“And you. You certainly seem happier than the last time you stopped by, Poe Dameron.”

Rey tilted her head, confused. “So you two have met before?”

“Oh yes. Poe’s come through my place on a mission or two, haven’t you, Poe?”

Poe ran his fingers through his hair, feeling awkward. “Yeah.” He looked at Rey. “Missions for the Resistance, that sort of thing.”

“You’ll have to tell me these stories sometime, _Commander Dameron.”_

“Of course.” He went on all sorts of missions for Leia. Most of them clandestine and dangerous. She trusted him to get out of any sort of trouble he got into. And he always did, one way or another. If Rey wanted to know, he would tell her.

“Chewbacca!” Maz interrupted their little staring match to greet the Wookie. Chewie seemed almost shy as he dropped to the ground to greet her. Poe had never seen him like that before. The hug lingered for a long time; it was clear they knew each other well. When Maz finally stood, she touched the Wookie’s forearm. “I mourn with you, dearest friend. He is missed.”

Rey reached for Poe’s hand; he squeezed hers comfortingly. He knew she missed Han. They all did. Poe had only met him once, but the man was a legend. Even more than that, he was the man Leia loved. Poe saw how much she missed her husband every single day. It made him even more determined to hang on to what was most important.

Chewie’s answering cry was profoundly sad. Maz blinked away her tears—magnified by her goggles—and turned to Rey and Poe. “Now I believe you had questions you wanted to ask?”

“Yeah, is there some place we can go? It’s kind of…private?”

“Follow me.” They followed Maz into another cave, smaller, but well lit. It was minimally furnished, a Maz sized chair, desk and bed, all made of wood. The only other thing in the room was something Rey knew well: the chest. The old curio chest where she discovered Luke’s missing lightsaber. Maz sat in the chair, leaving Rey and Poe to sit cross legged on the floor. The room was too small for Chewie; he had to wait outside. “Now what seems to be the trouble?”

Where to begin? Rey bit her lip, thinking. “I need to know something. I don’t know enough about the Force to figure it out. I don’t even trust myself enough to find the answer,” she confessed. “I need…I need to know if there’s still a connection between me and Kylo Ren.”

Maz’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean, still?”

As briefly as she could, Rey explained what she’d seen on Ahch-To and on Crait. The visions that Kylo had shown her, the way he used her for his own ends. Maz looked appalled, her aversion to the monster in question evident. It was clear there would be no forgiveness from Maz Kanata. “I don’t know if it’s there or not,” Rey finished. “I’m afraid that if it is there, he might find me, find the Rebellion. I can’t put them in danger.”

“I see.” Maz looked her over. “Give me your hands.” Rey held out her hands, palms up. Maz covered them with hers, both closed their eyes. Poe felt like an interloper, but he didn’t move. This fear was eating Rey up inside; he needed to be by her side as she figured this out. The meditation went on for a long time, longer than he expected. Each woman seemed to be in a type of trance. Occasionally he saw them flinch, Rey especially. He placed a soothing hand against her lower back; that seemed to help.

Rey felt Maz in her mind, but it didn’t feel like an intrusion. It reminded her of Poe, warm and comforting. Her friend probed gently, searching for the connection. It brought back some painful memories: her capture, Kylo’s torture. She flinched, the memory too real, too vivid. Suddenly she felt Poe on the edge of her awareness, always there to comfort her. Han’s death flashed before her eyes, her anguished scream, Finn holding her back. Then Kylo was there in front of her looking confused, she shot at him, fury seizing her. Her folly was played back before her in flashes, her naïve certainty that she could save someone so damned.

Then it ended. There was nothing. Nothing aside from Poe’s loving smile.

Rey sagged, the connection with Maz broken. Poe took her into his arms; the effort had taken a lot of out her. “Well? What did you see?”

Maz leaned back in her chair, looking more tired and frail than Poe had ever seen. He didn’t know how old she was, but she appeared ancient now. “The connection is gone,” Maz said at last.

“It is?!” Then Poe frowned. “Isn’t that good news?”

“It is.”

“Then what?”

“The connection between Rey and Kylo Ren has been severed. How it came to be, I do not know. But it was inadvertently severed by Kylo Ren himself.”

Rey stirred. “Kylo? How? What did he do to me?”

“It was not something he intended, I assure you.” Maz looked at Poe. “Give me your hand.”

“I’m not a Jedi.”

“Neither am I. You have a part to play in this, Poe Dameron.”

Rey looked as confused as he felt. Yet he did as she asked. He gave Maz his hand; it was even more surprising when she indicated that Rey should take the other. They shared a look before Poe closed his eyes. He had no idea what would happen, but he trusted Maz. And Rey. He felt something brush the edge of his consciousness, a gentle touch; not the stabbing pain of Kylo Ren. Then—much like his dream—he could see him. Far away and fuzzy around the edges, but Poe knew it was him. He heard Rey gasp, a faint echo of his torture washing through the connection. In a blink it was gone, replaced by Rey in the exact same room, screaming. Poe tensed, furious at whoever was hurting her. But he knew who it was. There was only person who was capable of such a thing.

Kylo Ren.

When he opened his eyes, Rey had tears in her eyes. “Poe,” she said softly. “I had no idea.”

He sighed, glancing away to get the images out of his head. He was only partially successful. “Neither did I.” He stood, needing some space. He didn’t understand why Maz had showed him that. Even worse, he couldn’t understand why Rey could still believe that Kylo Ren was worth saving after he’d tortured her like that. He understood that pain; it was still with him. He needed a minute. Or ten. “Sorry, I, uh, need to go.”

Rey reached for him, but he shook off her hand. “Give him a moment, child,” Maz said wisely.

“But I don’t understand,” Rey argued. “Why did you show us that? What good did it do?”

“You and he are more alike than you think. I have a theory and only a theory. The Force works in mysterious ways.”

“What is it?”

“I believe that the probing of your minds by Kylo Ren created a bond between you and Poe. Accidentally, of course. He would never see something so good and pure coming from so horrendous an act.”

“Is that why Poe can feel some of the things I do, even though he doesn’t have the Force?”

“We all do, to one extent or another,” Maz said with a smile. “It…”

“Binds the galaxy together, I remember.” She wanted to go to Poe, but she needed to ask one more question. “Can we make it stop?”

“Do you want to? You love him, don’t you?”

Rey bit her lip. Did she love him? Poe loved her, she’d felt it. The idea of him hurting was tearing her up inside. “Yes.”

“Then everything will work itself out. You’ll see.”

Rey hoped she was right. She thanked Maz then went to find Poe. The cave was a maze; she had to reach out with the Force to find him. His light was dimmed a little; she couldn’t help but believe that it was her fault. She stepped cautiously into the space; it was empty, save some rough straw palates on the ground. Poe paced back and forth, apparently deep in thought.

“Poe?”

He stopped, his back to her. “Are you going to probe my mind too?”

She flinched. “No, of course not. I would never do that to you.”

He turned, his dark features apologetic. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

She hurried to him, taking his hands in hers. “Talk to me, Poe.”

He covered her smaller hands with his. He loved her hands. Despite her skill as a mechanic, they were surprisingly delicate. Delicate yet strong. He’d seen her do extraordinary things with them. She was still his Rey. He just wanted to understand. “I hate that he did that to you.”

“Me too. That’s what your nightmares are, aren’t they?”

He nodded. “I think they’re getting worse, or at least, different. He…” Poe swallowed. “He hurts me…to get to you.”

Anger filled her; Kylo had hurt too many people. People she cared about it. It had to end. She wrapped her arms around Poe; he buried his face in her neck. “I am so sorry.”

“I didn’t want to add to your burden,” he confessed.

“Don’t ever think that,” she said vehemently. “I couldn’t do any of this without you.”

“Yes, you could. My strong, fierce Jedi.”

“Maybe. But I don’t want to. I want to do this together.”

Poe wanted to believe her. But something still nagged him. “Is that why you tried to save him?”

“Save who?”

“Kylo Ren.” Poe’s face hardened. “Even after everything he’s done. To _you_. He violated you and still you tried to save him.”

“I was trying to save everyone. He manipulated me into believing there was hope. I thought if I could get him away from Snoke, that he could help us destroy the First Order.”

“And you wouldn’t be alone anymore.”

Rey blinked. She didn’t want to admit it, but she had hoped for that. She didn’t think there was anyone in the galaxy who understood her. Luke rejected her, dashing all her hopes. In that moment when she stood over Luke in the rain, she’d never felt more alone. But she was _wrong_. Kylo didn’t understand anything but power and domination. He didn’t want Rey for herself. He wanted her power, to twist it for his own ends. He didn’t want to be saved. She was momentarily blind. She wasn’t nothing. She had Poe and Finn and Leia.

“I might have,” she admitted. “But, Poe, I was _wrong._ I was so wrong. He _stood there_ while Snoke…”

Poe’s face darkened. “Snoke what?”

“Tortured me. Again.”

“Oh Rey.” Here he was being selfish…and perhaps a little jealous. He hugged her close. “I am so sorry.”

“I’ve never known pain like that. It was like I was coming apart at the seams.”

“I know.” Then it hit him. _He_ _did know._ He’d felt her anguish on board the transport. He shouldn’t have woken that quickly from being stunned. But he did. Because of Rey. “How do I know that?”

“Kylo.” Rey explained Maz’s theory, the connection they’d felt, even before they truly met. “I don’t know how to make it stop though. I’m sorry.”

“Stop? Why would I want that?”

“I thought after all this…”

“Rey, no. _No._ I may not understand it like you do, but I wouldn’t give this up, give _us_ up, for anything.” He combed his fingers through her dark hair. “The things I feel when we’re together…that is everything. It’s like I was lost and now I’m not. I know where I’m supposed to be. With you.”

But Rey was still unsure. “Poe, are you sure? Maybe there’s something in the books? Or I could go back to Ahch-To and ask Master Luke…”

Poe’s brows shot up in surprise. “Okay, you’re gonna have to explain _that_ one to me, but later. Rey, I don’t care how it happened. Or if it was an accident. Or if the Force always meant for us to be together. All that matters is how we feel about each other. That… _monster_ didn’t create that. We did.”

“I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you. I don’t ever want to be like… _him._ ”

“Denying who and what you are would hurt me,” Poe said gently. “I love Rey, the lonely scavenger. I love Rey, the fierce Jedi. I love the Rey who doesn’t think twice about getting her hands dirty in broken down engine. I especially love the Rey who sits quietly, head on my shoulder, and enjoys the company of people who love her.”

A single tear slid down her cheek; Poe gently brushed it away. She opened her mouth to say something, but he pressed a finger to her lips. “I know,” he said, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a cheeky grin. “You don’t have to say it.”

“But I…” Everything Rey felt for him seemed to bubble up at once; she needed him to know. She _loved_ him. She wasn’t alone anymore. She had Poe, friends, a _family._ Maz had been right all along. Everything she needed was right in front of her.

He bent to kiss her, his lips lingering on hers, so soft and sweet. “Come on. If we leave Chewie with Maz much longer, she may not let him leave.”

Rey laughed, slipping her hand into his. “We wouldn’t want that.”

“No, because I am _determined_ to win him over!”

Rey let herself lean against him as they made their way back. They’d come there for answers. Maz didn’t have all the answers, no one did. But Rey finally felt like she might be able to make a start. A start to becoming a real Jedi, whatever that meant. This time, Rey would decide her fate and who she shared it with.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the late update! If you're still enjoying this story, I hope you like this update! I am dedicated to finishing it, but I can't promise that updates will be steady.

“Anything?”

“No, Red One,” Jess called over the connection. “Nothing on the scopes.”

“I’m still not sure if that’s good or bad,” Poe muttered. Weeks had passed since he, Rey and Chewie visited Takadona. The Rebellion was slowly gaining strength, with more pilots and supplies coming in every day. According to C-3PO’s spy network, whispers were spreading through the galaxy of a rebellion; the legend of Luke Skywalker only seemed to grow. Pockets of resistance were springing up in every system, but there was no coordination. For every cell that came into being another one was snuffed out by the First Order.

It was beyond frustrating.

Still, their main base was safe. Rey’s fear had proved unfounded. Poe was relieved that her connection with Kylo Ren was gone; the idea of the woman he loved being connected to that monster against her will still haunted him. She’d been through so much, and he hadn’t been there for her. He was there now. _Their_ connection only grew stronger, something that still floored him. She was so powerful, yet, she still believed him worthy of her love.

“Falcon to Red One.”

A smile curved his lips. Speaking of his favorite Jedi. “Red One, go ahead, Falcon.”

“The sector 447 is clear. Anything your way?”

“Depressingly boring.”

He heard a roar over the comm. “Chewie says you like trouble.”

“People love me despite my flaws,” he quipped. “Ready to go back?”

“See you on the ground, flyboy.”

Poe chuckled to himself. BB-8 chirped happily. “It’s only been a couple of hours, buddy. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.” After taking one more scan of the surrounding space, he turned the X-wing around and headed back to the base. He might enjoy poking a little fun at his droid, but he missed her too.

“Poe and I will check the oscillators after the debrief,” Rey said to her copilot. She eased the old freighter through the planet’s atmosphere; it was raining down below. _No new training,_ she thought to herself. _At least not_ that _kind of training._ Still, there were worse ways to spend an evening.

Chewie growled. “He’s a perfectly fine mechanic,” she said, trying to sound reasonable. For some reason she still couldn’t fathom, Chewbacca just couldn’t warm up to Poe. She used to think it was some weird protection thing, but lately she wasn’t so sure. She adored Chewie; she considered him family. It bothered her that he and her boyfriend didn’t get along.

Chewie protested louder. “No, it is not just an excuse for us to hang out together!” Rey turned resolutely toward the view outside, a tell tale flush creeping up her neck. Were they that obvious? In a way, she supposed they were. She and Poe shared his quarters these days. She’d long since given up her own with the excuse that they needed to house all the recruits and refugees that came in. She never really _used_ her quarters anyway, falling asleep on the Falcon as often as not.

She hadn’t done that in a long time.

Still, it wasn’t a secret that she and Poe were together. When his duties and her Jedi training permitted, they spent every moment they had in each other’s company. Sometimes that meant working on the Falcon. Or on his X-wing. Her favorite times were their own little “training” sessions when they tested and pushed the bond between them. It was already powerful—powerful enough to shut out Kylo Ren—but such things needed to be nurtured.

It didn’t hurt that many of those sessions left them naked and sweaty wherever they happened to be.

Rey bit her lip, hoping her thoughts weren’t written all over her face. It wasn’t her fault Poe was the most attractive man she’d ever met. She’d been so lonely for so long; she thought she was entitled to a little happiness.

“Leia’s looking for you,” Finn called as she and Chewie stepped down the gangplank.

“Any idea why?”

“Nope. She just asked me to find you. Poe too.”

“Oh, okay.” She looked out the hangar doors; Red Squadron was coming in. They’d chosen the name to honor Master Luke; Leia approved. No one spoke of Black Squadron; Rey knew the loss of the people and Poe’s black X-wing still stung. He treated his new X-wing with reverence, and not simply because of its history. Rey liked to tease him about it sometimes, but she knew it was simply his way. He was a kind, giving person; everyone who knew him adored him for it. Leia, Finn, his squadron mates, even BB-8.

She half expected this all to be a dream. She would wake up on Jakku, still alone, still searching for her family. This felt too good to be true.

Poe hopped down from his ship, pleased to see Rey standing nearby. He hurried over, capturing her lips in a kiss. She smiled against him, her fingers weaving into his dark curls. “Hey.”

“Hey.” It was their ritual, greeting each other with a kiss whenever they came back from a mission, even if it was a simple patrol. It reminded them of what they were fighting for.

“Finn says Leia’s looking for us.”

Poe’s brow creased in a frown. He’d been looking forward to some quiet time with Rey. Between training new pilots and scanning the Unknown Regions for another suitable staging area in the event they ever had to evacuate, he didn’t get as much time with her as he liked. Of course, if he had his way, they’d spend so much time together that they’d run the risk of becoming heartily _sick_ of each other.

Sometimes he wondered if this was how it had been for his parents. They served in completely separate units during the Rebellion. How had they managed? He wished he could ask his dad. There was so much he wanted to know, but he had never thought to ask. Above all else, Poe wished he could introduce Kes to the woman he loved.

“Guess we better go see what she wants.”

“Wait.” Rey pulled him back, fusing her lips once more to his. She felt his emotions as if they were her own; the wave of longing he felt made her heart squeeze. She didn’t know what prompted it, but she could ask him later. For now, this was enough.

Poe ignored his bulky flight suit and wrapped his arms around her. It didn’t matter that they were in the middle of the hangar or that people were staring. Her love kept him grounded, but only in the best way. As Rose liked to say, they were only going to win by fighting for what they loved. And Poe Dameron loved Rey.

They shared twin happy smiles as they walked through the base. It was so different from those weeks where she lived in fear that she would somehow betray her friends. With her mind safe from Kylo, she could focus more on her training, on her friends, on her love. Being with Poe opened all sorts of new feelings and possibilities.

She was finally learning to accept hope.

“There you are.” Leia looked up from her datapad; she looked more tired than Rey remembered. Honestly, Rey was a little worried about her. She had the weight of the entire galaxy on her shoulders and Rey didn’t know how to make it better.

 _She’s stronger than you think,_ a dry familiar voice echoed in her mind. _She always was the strongest of us._

Luke. He didn’t speak to her often. Frankly, she didn’t find much of his little witticisms and advice helpful. She was facing something almost unimaginable. She was the last Jedi. A Jedi who had no _kriffing_ idea what that meant. Maz had helped answer some of her questions, but it still felt too big for her. She how could she train someone else to be a Jedi when she was barely one herself? And what did being a Jedi mean in the face of unimaginable darkness?

More troubling, she knew she was on a collision course with Kylo Ren. Somehow, some way, they would face each other again.

She had so much more to lose now.

“Anything?” Leia asked, interrupting her thoughts.

“All clear, General,” Poe reported. “No sign of the First Order.”

“But we both know they’re out there.”

No one said anything. While the Rebellion was no longer licking their wounds, they were still far from able to take the fight to the enemy. Poe could only imagine how difficult it was for Leia, knowing her son was out there. That _he_ was responsible for so much suffering and death. Poe tried to do what he could, but he wasn’t sure how to help. Lately, Leia seemed withdrawn, tired.

Leia laid the datapad aside. “We need to get some organization. Coordination. We need to contact our would be allies if we’re going to make any headway against the First Order.”

“How do we do that, General? Every day the First Order tightens its grip.” Poe tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice. He hated the First Order with every fiber of his being, but hatred had no place here. Not if he wanted to be objective. Of course, it was difficult to be objective when his mentor’s son led the enemy. After everything Kylo Ren had done to the people Poe cared about, he was in no mood to be merciful.

Leia gave him a sardonic smile. In her mind’s eye, she was nineteen again, facing down Grand Moff Tarkin. She was wiser now, but it remained as true now as it had been then. “The more they tighten their grip, the more star systems will slip through their fingers, Captain.” Leia restored Poe’s rank not long after they returned from Takadona. She couldn’t have her fighter squadrons commanded by a mere commander. Besides, Poe had earned it. He’d come a long way since Crait. “That said, stealth is imperative. We’re still too spread out. Which means you’ll get to exercise your spy skills, Poe.”

Poe’s brows shot up. “Yeah?”

Leia rolled her eyes. “Don’t look so excited. It’s going to be hard work.”

Poe couldn’t help but smile. He hated the feeling of sitting around and doing nothing. “We’re up to it, General.”

“I know _you_ are, Poe.” Leia looked at Rey. “How’s your training going?”

Rey shrugged. “Everyone says I have all this power, but I don’t know what to do with it.”

Poe slipped his hand into hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. She squeezed back, giving him thankful smile. Leia watched them thoughtfully; they were so in tune with each other. It reminded her strongly of her and Han. He just seemed to know when she needed him most. It was these times she felt his loss most keenly.

“We’ve received intelligence that the First Order is making a move on Umbara.”

Poe’s head shot up. “Umbara? Isn’t that where most of the galaxy’s doonium comes from?”

Leia nodded. “Yes, which makes it high on the First Order’s target list. If they can control the trade coming out of Umbara, then they can effectively strangle our ability to acquire and maintain the fleet.”

“So how do we stop it?”

“Someone is going to have to go there and coordinate with the locals. There’s been fighting already. Some of the extremists are talking about blowing up the mines so no one can get to the ore.”

“We can’t let that happen.”

“No, we can’t.” Leia looked from Poe to Rey. “Umbara has some pretty advanced tech. I’d like you to get familiar with it before heading there. Might not be a bad idea to test some of your Jedi skills too. Could come in handy.”

Poe thought that was a gross understatement, but he let it pass. There were some Jedi skills Rey was more comfortable using than others. He and Rey shared a look, her hazel eyes hesitant, his brown ones full of determination and pride. At length she nodded at him.

They both looked at Leia. “When do we start?”

 

* * *

 

Rey brushed some hair away from her face. Her arms were starting to ache. She’d been working on the Falcon ever since their talk with Leia. They were going to begin their training for the mission the next day; she needed the distraction. She might be gone for weeks and there was maintenance to be done. She couldn’t leave Chewie to do it all by himself. Her fingers tightened bolts, rerouted wires, swept dirt out of the old ship’s innards. She loved this ship; in many respects, it was home. It would be a wrench to leave her behind, but the Falcon was too recognizable. The Rebellion managed to acquire an Umbaraian cargo ship; she and Poe would fly that instead.

Poe was there right now, checking the ship’s systems. She wasn’t worried. He could fly anything. So could she. She had other things to worry about.

There was another part of their mission, one Leia didn’t want anyone else to know about. Not even Poe. Rey didn’t like the idea of keeping things from him and it was tearing her up. Hence her retreat to the Falcon. But what choice did she have? She was the last Jedi. Kylo Ren was her responsibility.

It was just intelligence, she argued with herself. Rey slithered deeper into the Falcon’s skeleton, intent on finding the bad connection. The oscillators were fine, but there was a short somewhere in the system. Was it so wrong for Leia to know where her son was? _But he’s not Ben anymore. You know that._

Ben Solo was gone. All that was left was Kylo Ren. A monster intent on ruling the galaxy. A monster who’d murdered his own father, helped destroy his uncle and tortured the man she loved. He tortured and used her. There was nothing left to be saved. She knew that. To save the galaxy, they needed to stop the First Order and that meant defeating Kylo Ren.

She just didn’t know if she was ready for that.

Poe tucked the basket under his arm; he was worried about Rey. He was sensing feelings he didn’t understand; had something happened after he left to look over the cargo ship? When he realized Rey wasn’t in their quarters, he knew there was only one of two places she could be. The Falcon was his first choice. He brought some dinner with him; it had been a while since they enjoyed anything like a date night. He wanted to do something nice for her, ease whatever she was going through.

“Rey?” he called when he climbed on board. Thankfully, Chewie was nowhere in sight.

“Down here!”

He followed his gut, the connection between them palpable. It was usually gentle and warm, but he felt an undercurrent of anxiety coming from her. What could his beloved Rey be anxious about? They’d been on several missions together now; they trusted each other implicitly.

Poe stopped by the open grate, kneeling on the edge. “Need some help? I brought dinner.”

“One more minute!” Warmth and love flowed through her; Poe’s mere presence soothed her. She hated herself for even thinking about keeping secrets from him. They’d only ever been honest with each other. Sparks lit up the cramped space as she soldered the connection shut, then she removed her goggles. Carefully, she crawled back the way she had come; Poe was waiting for her. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” He held out his hand and helped her up. Her face was covered in dirt smudges, but that didn’t stop him from planting a gentle kiss to her lips. “How’s my best girl?”

She hugged him; he never cared if she was greasy and dirty. He loved her just as she was. “Better now that you’re here.”

He offered her a lopsided grin. “Miss me that much, huh?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t get ideas, flyboy.” Bantering with him felt wrong, but she clung to it like a lifeline. She kissed him once more quickly, then she ducked into the tiny fresher, scrubbing the oil and dirt from her hands and face. By the time she got back, Poe was laying out their dinner on the old chess table. “Hey, are you okay?”

Rey tried to look happier. “Yeah. It’s just been a long day.”

Poe gave her a look. “You know this bond thing works both ways now. What’s really going on?” He could sense her feelings much more strongly, even without touching her. But he would probably never know her thoughts, since he wasn’t a Jedi. He didn’t want to read her mind. He wanted her to talk to him, to trust him.

Rey allowed herself to lean into him, drawing strength from his love. She knew he wouldn’t like what she was about to say, so she stalled. The seconds dragged by; she counted his heartbeats. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Poe coaxed her to sit, the bench seat allowed them to face each other. She looked wary and Poe suddenly wondered if he’d done something to upset her. She curled her fingers around his, enjoying the roughness of his fingertips on her skin. Poe was tangible, real, her anchor in a world she often didn’t understand. How could someone with so much power feel so helpless?

“You can tell me anything,” he promised, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. “What’s going on?”

Rey took a deep breath. “After you left, Leia wanted to talk to me.”

That didn’t sound too bad. “About what?”

“Kylo Ren.”

Poe inhaled sharply; a muscle clenched in his jaw. _Calm down,_ he scolded himself. _You’ll scare her._ He couldn’t help the way he felt; after what that monster had done not only to himself but to Rey. Honestly, Poe found that to be the more difficult to handle. He was a soldier; he knew the danger. Rey had been an innocent then; she didn’t deserve to be tortured and used. “What about him?”

“Leia thinks I might be able to find him.”

Poe swallowed. “And we want that now?”

“Poe…”

He was trying, he really was. But he needed a minute. Poe stood abruptly and began to pace the length of the room. It wasn’t really helping, but he refused to lash out at her. None of this was Rey’s fault.

“She didn’t want me to tell you.”

Poe stopped in his tracks. “Why the hell not?”

Rey bit her lip. “Because she thought you might react like this.”

Poe set his jaw, anger made his hands shake. “Does she know what he did to you? To me? To Han? Does she know what he _is?”_

Rey stood too. “She knows better than anyone, but he’s still her son! Can you really blame her for having hope?”

Poe ran his fingers through his hair. “Do you? Have hope?” She tried to save him once; Poe didn’t know how he’d react if she tried again. That man was a monster.

Rey shook her head. “No, but Poe…I’m going to have to face him one day. Deep down you know that.”

“Give me one good shot with my X-wing, Rey, and we’ll see about that.”

She hurried up to him, hoping he wouldn’t turn her away. When she took his hands in hers, he didn’t let go. “I am the last Jedi, Poe. He’s my responsibility.”

“I know, and I hate it.” He couldn’t lose her too. Not when he’d just found her. He wanted them to have a life together, a life away from war and conflict. The ring he wore under his shirt almost seemed to burn; he knew it was meant for Rey.

“We need to know the First Order’s plans,” she reminded him. “We can’t hide forever.”

Poe drew her to him, breathing in her unique scent. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “The very thought of him…”

“I know. I hate what he did to you. You have every right to be upset.” She looked up at him. “I knew I couldn’t keep it a secret. Not from you. I love you.”

Poe stared at her for a long moment. She’d never actually said the words before. He knew she felt them, but he never pushed. He didn’t need to hear it; her feelings came through loud and clear in the bond they shared. But it was exactly what he needed in that moment. “I love you too, Rey. More than I can say.”

Rey reached up, tracing his handsome features with her fingertips. He kissed her fingers as she brushed them over his lips, making her smile. She couldn’t describe how it felt to finally tell him how she felt. She’d tried—several times—but he always seemed to anticipate her. He’d kiss her or tell a joke, anything to distract her. She’d get caught up in him and forget. She wondered why he kept doing it but had never asked. She didn’t plan on asking now; she just wanted to show him how much she adored him. How much she needed him by her side if she was going to fulfill her destiny. He opened his mouth to speak, but she placed a finger to his lips. “Shhh.” She leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth; his scruff pricked her lips deliciously. “Are you hungry?” Their meal still lay on the table, but she had other ideas.

He shook his head. “Not for food.” Poe let his hands slide up her back and into her hair. She hummed as his lips descended on hers, soft at first, warm and pliant; he held her like she was made of glass. So strong, his Jedi, yet infinitely precious to him. Rey stood up on her toes, trying to get closer, her body pressed firmly to his. Her soft moan went straight to his groin; she knew just how to drive him crazy. He cupped her cheeks, tilting her head so he could deepen the kiss. She opened instinctively, sure of what she wanted. Rey clutched at his jacket, using it to anchor herself as they kissed.

Poe staggered a little under her weight; holding her hips, he eased them back toward the bench. “Here?” he whispered between kisses.

“Definitely here.” She didn’t want to find a bunk or wait until they got back to their quarters. She needed him now. Poe sat heavily on the bench; Rey quickly climbed into his lap. They made out slowly, thoroughly, reveling in their unique connection. He pushed off her vest, his lips peppered her jaw and neck with kisses. Rey mewled, her fingers sinking into her lover’s dark hair. She felt warm all over; he knew just how to rouse her. Every slide of his mouth dragged his scruff over her pale skin; she loved when he marked her that way. “Poe…”

“Patience, darling.” He kept his eyes locked on hers as he unwound the wraps from her arms, drinking in her love and arousal. She was no longer the inexperienced girl she’d once been; this was a woman who needed him as much as he needed her. The moment her arms were exposed she peeled off her tunic and kissed him deeply. Poe stroked every inch of bare skin he could reach, making her squirm in his arms. He could feel her against him, her core hot and wet for him. “Mine.”

She nodded absently, panting as his lips moved down her chest. Her nipples were hard under the fabric of her wrap, the material rough on her skin. Poe loosened the band with his teeth, giving her a filthy smirk as he did so. She gasped as he took a peak into his mouth, a jolt of need pulsing in her core. Instinctively, she ground against him, desperate for some relief to the ache that filled her. An ache only he could satisfy.

“Kriff,” he cursed, her hips rutting firmly against his. It was torture, but he didn’t want her to stop. He wanted her like this, eager and wet, hungry for him. She was glorious. Instead, his fingers fumbled with her pants, working them open so he could slip his hand inside.

Rey jerked, his fingers a surprise. She held onto his shoulders, using it as leverage so she could rock against him. It felt so good, the roughened pads of his fingers against her wet swollen nub. “Yes, yes, yes,” she breathed, the pressure building.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” he praised, pressing harder. “Take what you need.”

She captured his lips in a heated kiss, not ashamed in the slightest at how much she craved his touch. She pushed him back against the bench; Poe groaned deeply. His cock twitched urgently; he secretly loved her aggression. In retaliation, he abandoned her clit and twisted his wrist to press three fingers as deeply as he could inside her.

The sudden stretch and burn made her cry out. “Poe! Poe, yes!”

“Love how wet you get for me,” he grunted, his free hand on her hip to guide her. She threw her head back as she rode his fingers, chasing her pleasure. “Need you so much, Rey.”

Rey arched painfully as she climaxed, her walls rippling against his fingers. Objects around them hovered a few inches off the ground, crashing back down as her orgasm faded. Poe didn’t stop touching her, slowly readying her for him. She found his lips, kissing him passionately, her hands clumsily working his shirt open. He had to stop touching her to get it off; she tossed it aside quickly. “Too many clothes,” she complained.

“Damn right,” he agreed. Holding her to him, he switched their position, laying her flat on the bench. He kissed his way down her body, his hands working the pants over her hips. He had to stand to remove her boots, socks and trousers; he grinned as she shimmied out of her underwear. “Always so impatient.”

Rey pushed herself up, reaching out to curl her hand around his belt. She dragged him to her with surprising strength, her mouth hot on his belly. He groaned, his hand in her soft locks. She had it pulled back in her customary three buns, but they were loose and messy now. Poe plucked the ties out of her hair, loving the way it fell over her shoulders in waves.

Rey pressed her hands against his clothed hips, running her thumbs over his hard length through the material. Her lover groaned deeply, and she smiled. He spent so much time on her pleasure; she loved those times she got to explore him. “Rey,” he breathed.

The belt was the first to go. Metal clanged on metal as she untied his boots and helped him step out of them. Then she returned to his trousers, popping the buttons one by one. He watched her with heavy lidded eyes, his breathing shallow, his skin tingling. He loved being with her; she was everything he could ever want. He moaned loudly as she freed his cock, her touch electric. She took him into her tiny hand, enjoying the contrast of hard and soft. Her body throbbed in response; it knew just how incredible he felt inside her. She pressed kisses along the V of his hips, unable to resist him. He was all hard muscle and sinew, perfectly formed.

Most importantly, he was all hers.

Her loving assault on his body was nearly his undoing. He liked focusing on her; she was so beautiful and deserved all the love and affection he could give her. But she was stunning like this, exploring and worshiping his body like he was everything. She coaxed him closer on wobbly legs; Poe couldn’t hep but wonder what she was about. She looked up at him with determination, her fingers still stroking him. “Let me try something?”

“Anything.”

Rey smiled nervously, then leaned forward just a bit. Her tongue darted out to taste him, sweeping over the wet tip of him. Poe inhaled sharply, floored by her. Floored and very, very aroused. He never expected her to do this for him, but once again, she managed to surprise him.

Poe loved tasting her; she’d wondered how it would be to return the favor. He tasted odd, musky and salty, but she didn’t mind it. Her first strokes were shy and tentative, but Poe seemed to enjoy it. She stumbled on a particularly sensitive spot; Poe cursed. “Ugh, right there.”

She repeated the action, enjoying the way his eyes rolled back in his head. His whole body was taut, the muscles straining. On a hunch, she took him past her lips, just the tip, and sucked experimentally. “Kriff!” Poe panted, torn between watching her and pushing her back against the bench and taking her. Her mouth was hot and wet; just the fact that she was trying this nearly had him on his knees. His orgasm tingled at the base of his spine; he wasn’t ready for that yet. He needed to feel her.

Poe tugged on her hair, desperate to make her stop. “You have to…kriff, that feels so good, Rey. But you…ugh, you have to stop.”

He sounded wrecked; she stared up at him with curious eyes. “Why?”

“Because I need to be inside you.” He kicked his pants free, his own patience snapping.

“Oh.” He pounced quickly, kissing her deeply as he maneuvered them back onto the bench. Rey sank into the thin batting, shivering as Poe settled in the cradle of her thighs. He rubbed his cock over her wet swollen flesh, coating himself in her arousal.

“Hang on to me,” he warned. She wrapped her arms around his neck, arching as he sank into her willing body. She was so wet that she took him in one stroke, his cock filling her to the brim. Rey moaned loudly; she hoped Poe had remembered to close the hatch or everyone would hear them. Not that she cared at the moment. He felt too good.

Poe kissed her languidly, deliberately holding back. Being with her felt so right; she was warm and tight and perfect. He moved slowly, building her pleasure, struggling to keep his own at bay. “Love you,” he whispered, hips moving a little harder, a little deeper. “So much.”

Rey found his mouth, stroking his tongue with hers. “More,” she panted. “Please.”

He nodded, unlocking her legs from his hips. He paused long enough to hook them over his shoulders, changing the angle of his thrusts. Rey keened, his cock hitting exactly where she was most sensitive. “Kriff, yes,” she gasped, bucking her hips up. “Right there.”

“Like this?” He braced himself on either side of her head and gave her a powerful thrust his hips. When Rey cried out, he kept going, craving more of the delicious sounds she made. Soon, she was trembling, desperate to climax. She could feel him holding back, so she reached out with her mind, brushing urgently against his. He stared into her eyes as he let her in, her joy washing over him tenfold as she finally let go. Feeling her climax like this was the ultimate intimacy; it was so easy to give that back to her. She keened as he followed her in bliss, another powerful high gripping her. They were feeding off each other, love and joy and lust all rolled into one wave of feeling.

Why couldn’t they have this always?

Poe collapsed on top of her, completely spent. He’d never felt anything like this, not in all the times they’d been together. Was it the Force? Or was it simply _her?_ He would never tire of this; every time was new and different. They were closer than they’d ever been, and it was staggering, the love she felt for him.

Rey was exhausted, hot and sweaty, but utterly at peace. She knew it came from Poe. The connection between them seemed to evolve; just when she thought they could get no closer, she felt like _this._ This was worth fighting for. They were worth fighting for.

“Sorry,” Poe muttered when he realized how long he laid on top of her. He must be crushing her. The bench was far too narrow for them both; he mustered the last of his strength to stand and carry her to the bunk. Their bunk. He paused long enough to clean her up before he joined her.

Rey snuggled into him; he was warm and inviting. She pillowed her head on his chest, one arm across his belly. He smiled as she did so; she was so affectionate with him. Especially when they were alone, and no one could see. He was torn; part of him wished everyone could know the woman he knew yet the other part wanted to keep her all to himself. “Still with me?”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed. Her fingertips grazed the scar on his side; it made her shiver. It was an accident, but she’d nearly lost him. She might never have known what it felt like to be loved so completely. It made her heart hurt.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, feeling a twinge of sadness wash over him. It took some getting used to, feeling emotions that weren’t his own. He wasn’t afraid of it; it only made them closer. He wouldn’t trade this for anything.

“It’s nothing. I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“The accident.”

“Oh.” He remembered waking up much like this, with Rey’s head on his chest as she slept. She never left his side. “It was a bit of a close call.”

She drew her finger over the length of a jagged scar. It wasn’t that obvious, just a faint line across his skin, but she knew his body too well now. If she closed her eyes, she knew she was see him laying there, battered and broken, glass protruding from his flight suit. She’d never been so scared in her life.

Her silence unnerved him. “Hey, talk to me,” he cajoled. “It’s okay.”

Rey propped her head up, looking down at him. His brown eyes were so beautiful, filled with love and concern. He ran his fingers through her mussed hair; she instinctively leaned into his touch. “It’s always going to be like this, isn’t it?” she said at last. “The constant danger, the destruction all around us.”

Poe shook his head. “Not always, Rey. Someday, we’ll win this thing. And when we do…” He grinned up at her.

“What? What does Poe Dameron want?”

“You,” he said simply. “In whatever capacity. We can go wherever you want. Do anything. Train new Jedi. Maybe have a family of our own. The details aren’t important, as long as we’re together.”

Rey bit her lip. “Really? You want that?”

He nodded. “I mean, at some point, I’d like to take you to Yavin to meet my dad, but other than that, the future is whatever we want it to be.”

She laughed, a clear pleased sound. “I have absolutely no idea how to train anyone,” she confessed. “I barely know what I’m doing.”

He gave her hair a little playful tug. “That’s okay. You do the lightsaber stuff and I’ll teach them how to fly.”

“Hey, I can fly!”

“Believe me, I know.” He’d seen her do things with the Falcon that should be impossible. “Maybe we’ll invite mere mortals to take lessons too. Before I become a crotchety old man.”

She rolled her eyes. “Like you’re old.”

He pretended to be offended. “Is that any way to speak to your elder?”

Rey swatted his chest, then soothed the spot with a kiss. And another. And another. He let out a soft groan and she looked quite pleased with herself. “Now what were you saying, Captain?”

“Naughty girl.” He pulled her up, so he could kiss her. Rey deftly maneuvered herself until she was squarely on top of him, their mouths locked in an all too familiar dance. Slow and languid, these were the moments she wished she could freeze in her memory. She tingled, right down to her toes. His hands stroked the length of her spine before settling on her bum. “Give me a few more minutes and we’ll see about punishing your cheek, darling.”

She giggled. “I don’t know what you mean.”

He swatted her ass under the blanket. “Oh, I think you do.” He grinned when she shivered. “Love you.”

She laid her head on his chest, her fingers curling around the chain that hung from his neck. “Love you too.”

His heart clenched as she toyed with the chain; he was surprised she’d never asked him about it. It wasn’t a secret, but he thought she’d be more curious. With all their talk of the future, he wondered if it was the right time to give it to her. Then he thought better of it. They were about to go on a dangerous mission; he couldn’t distract her. It just felt like the wrong time to ask her for a commitment like that. No, he was happy with things as they were. Perhaps after the mission.

Yes, when they came back, safe and sound. He would ask her then.

 

* * *

 

Poe marched through the hangar, intent on his destination. Several people called out to him, but he waved them off. Rey was on the Umbaraian cargo ship examining some of the tech; some of it might be useful to the Rebellion. A secondary part of their mission was to negotiate with the Umbaraians for access to their doonium and other tech, anything that could give them an advantage over the First Order. They needed all the help they could get.

No, it was the _secret_ part of the mission that had Poe annoyed.

He wasn’t upset at Rey. He didn’t _like_ it, but at least she’d told him the truth. It was more that _Leia_ had insisted Rey conceal it from him that had him steamed. Would she never trust him again? He thought he’d regained what he’d lost over the fight with the Dreadnought and the mutiny. She’d even reinstated his rank and promoted him to fleet commander, such as it was. But he couldn’t do his job if she didn’t confide in him, especially about something like this.

Putting Rey in Kylo’s path could lead nowhere good, he was sure of it.

Leia was in the comm room, going over reports on her secure datapad. “General?”

“Captain. How are the preparations going?”

He forced himself to keep his voice even. He didn’t want to cause a scene. “Fine. Rey’s examining the tech as you asked. We’re going to be taking a dry run through the plan this afternoon.”

“Good. This mission is very important.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. Can we move this to your office?”

Leia looked at him strangely; did he spot a flicker of guilt in her eyes? “Very well, Captain.” She cradled the pad against her chest and led him to her makeshift office. Poe closed the door firmly behind him. “Now what seems to be the problem, Poe?”

Poe ran his fingers through his hair. “I know I’ve made some mistakes in the past. But I think…I _hope_ I’ve earned back some of your trust, General.”

“Of course you have. Why do you think I reinstated you?”

“And I am grateful. But that doesn’t explain why I’m finding out about some secret part of my mission from my girlfriend. You know, the one who happens to be a Jedi?” His voice came out harsher than he intended, but he was genuinely hurt by the fact that she didn’t seem to trust him.

“I asked her not to tell you. It’s not her fault.”

“I know, and I’m not angry with her.” He leveled his mentor with a stare. “Did you honestly think she _wouldn’t_ tell me? We have this crazy Force bond thing, General. And we don’t have secrets. Ever.”

Leia braced her hands heavily on her desk. She looked tired. No, that was the wrong word. She looked _defeated._ Poe had only seen her like that once before and it scared him then too. “It _was_ unfair of me,” she conceded. “But I was trying to spare us both this precise conversation. Your feelings about my son are all too clear, Poe.”

Poe huffed. “Can you blame me? He tortured me for information, Leia. He dug into my brain and took what he wanted. Sometimes, I can still feel him there.” He took a deep breath; he hadn’t had a nightmare in a while, but that didn’t mean anything.

Leia winced but seemed determined. “I don’t need you to lecture me on all the terrible things my son has done, _Captain._ I have to live with it, every single day.”

“Do you know he stood there while that bastard Snoke tortured Rey? Do you have any idea how that _felt?_ I do. I felt her pain. It was so intense, it woke me up after you stunned me. I had no idea what was happening, but I knew it was evil.”

“Snoke got to him,” Leia cried. “Poisoned his mind. There is still good in him, I know there is.” Luke told her on Crait that _he_ couldn’t save Ben. Han couldn’t save Ben either. It was up to her. She was the only one who could end this. She had to save her son, just like Luke had saved their father all those years ago. She had to believe that. She _had to._

“I know this is hard to accept, but your son is _gone_ , Leia. The First Order must be destroyed and that includes Kylo Ren.”

“I refuse to believe my husband died for nothing. Han only tried to save him because _I_ begged him to. I put the Resistance ahead of my own flesh and blood, sending Han in my stead. You think that doesn’t eat me up inside? I’m his _mother_. I should have been there!” Leia collapsed back into the chair, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Poe hurried over to her, hoping he wasn’t overstepping. Whatever anger she felt toward him didn’t seem to matter anymore. He held her as she cried, this strong woman finally broken by all the heartbreak she’d suffered. Poe felt terrible, once more his pride seemed to have gotten the better of him. Leia was like a mother to him; he hated seeing her like this. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I am so sorry.”

Leia held on to him for dear life. How much heartache could one person take? All her life, she’d pushed it down, pushed it aside, forcing herself to focus on the job at hand. First as a young woman in the Rebellion, then as a wife, mother and Senator. Everyone around her seemed to die. Her parents, Han, Luke. Her precious Ben was lost, consumed by the evil that was Kylo Ren. Was Han right? Did he have too much Vader in him? Did _she?_   Luke had told her about some of the stories he’d gleaned about Anakin Skywalker, the man. He even said that Leia was like him. She’d brushed that off; her mind couldn’t accept that she was anything like the man that had become Darth Vader. That man tortured his own daughter, even if he hadn’t realized that at the time. She could never forgive that.

Why was it different with Ben? Why was she so sure she could save him? Was she simply being naïve? No, no one had ever accused her of _that._ Leia pictured Ben as a child, all wavy dark hair and big eyes. He reminded her so much of Han, always getting into trouble.

Then she’d sent him away.

Han thought it was a bad idea. He never wanted Ben to be come a Jedi. But Leia didn’t know what else to do. Even when he was little, Ben showed extraordinary abilities with the Force. She didn’t know enough about it to guide him, but she was convinced that Luke did. Her brother had already begun gathering padawans; she thought it would be good for Ben to be around others like him. She had no way to know what would happen.

Now Han was gone. Luke was gone. Her beloved boy had committed untold atrocities, convinced he was the second coming of Darth Vader. Would she never be free of pain?

She would never admit it out loud, but Poe was like a son to her. He was a little older than Ben, but he had this boyish exuberance about him. And she had a soft spot for cocky pilots. He was very good at his job; he had the potential to be truly great. With their Jedi by his side, they could do anything together. Even she could see that. But she’d hurt him by not confiding in him. That wasn’t the kind of person she wanted to be.

“I should apologize to you, Poe,” she said quietly. Her voice was hoarse from her tears, but her eyes were dry now. The moment of weakness had passed. “I’m sorry.”

Poe pressed a tender kiss to the older woman’s forehead, then he stepped back. “I’m not exactly the most objective when it comes to him, so I get it.”

“Neither am I, apparently.”

Poe offered her a soft smile. “Then maybe we even each other out.”

“I should have never asked Rey to keep it from you. We are not like the First Order.”

“Finding out anything we can about him is important,” Poe reminded her. “If there’s something to be found, we’ll find it for you, General.”

“Thank you, Poe.” He turned to leave but she called him back. Leia stood and moved around the desk; kriff, she was tired. She rested her hands on Poe’s shoulders. “You probably don’t want to hear this, but for what it’s worth, I am sorry. For what my…for what _he_ did to you. You’re a good man, Poe Dameron, and I should have trusted you.”

Poe swallowed past the lump that formed in his throat. He’d never admired Leia more than in that moment. “Thank you, General.”

She nodded but said nothing. There wasn’t anything else she could say. All she could do was hold on to hope.

Poe left, wanting to give Leia some time. This had to be unbelievably difficult for her. He hadn’t meant to make it worse, but he needed to understand. If he was going to put his life—and Rey’s—on the line, then he needed to know. He might not believe that Kylo Ren was worth saving but Leia did. If he could help her, then he would. But if it was a choice between that monster and the people he cared about, he already knew his choice.

He prayed it never came to that.

Rey gave him a searching look when he returned to the cargo ship. “Everything okay?”

He sat down beside her on the floor and wrapped his arms around her. “Not especially.”

She frowned, curling her fingers around his forearm. “Want to talk about it?”

“Don’t you know already?”

“I can feel that you’re upset, but no, I don’t know.” She vowed never to look inside his head without permission. She wasn’t like Kylo Ren. She wasn’t.

His lips touched her temple. “I talked to Leia about the mission.”

Rey listened patiently as he explained everything. She understood why he’d done it; Poe hated to be kept in the dark about things. He just wasn’t a follow blindly kind of person; neither was she. He was disappointed in Leia, much the same way she’d been disappointed in Luke when she first met him. Her heart broke for Leia; the woman had been through more tragedy than anyone person could be expected to take. It made Rey’s own painful past seem trivial. Yet Leia was the strongest person Rey knew.

Perhaps it was time they helped ease her burden.

Poe let his hand drop and slipped it into Rey’s. She squeezed gently; he squeezed back. “I’m glad you talked,” she said quietly. “Does she really think he can be saved?”

“I think she has to believe it,” he replied. “Isn’t that what you told me? You believed because if you didn’t then Han died for nothing.”

Rey nodded. She had believed that once; she could only imagine how much difficult it was for Leia. It was her family that was suffering and dying. “What do we do?”

“The mission. We go to Umbara, stop the First Order from seizing the place and find any intel we can. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of sitting around here doing nothing.”

“Nothing, huh?”

Poe pulled her into his lap and kissed her cheek. “You know what I meant.” He breathed her in, her scent centering him. “I’m just eager to see what the future holds for us.”

She leaned her head against his. “Me too. I want to see your home.”

“First chance we get,” he promised. “Dad will love you.”

“You think so?”

“Everyone loves you, Rey.” He brushed some hair away from her face. “Me, Leia, Finn, Rose. You’ve got all sorts of people who love you now.”

“Someday I’ll get used to that.”

“We’re not going anywhere, sweetheart. _I’m_ not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.”

She laughed. “However will I cope?”

Poe growled, attacking her throat playfully. He sucked and nibbled as she squirmed in his arms, but he held firm. She could have gotten away if she really wanted to, but she treasured these moments. There was so much destruction around them; they had to seize these moments of happiness with both hands. Leia had taught her that. There was war and darkness and death, but there was also light. None so bright as the light she found within Poe. He believed in her when she didn’t believe in herself. He thought she do anything, be anything she wanted to be.

She wasn’t nothing. She was Rey, the girl who’d found a home, found people who loved her. She was a Jedi. She didn’t have to go on this journey alone. Not anymore.

Rey drew his lips to hers, humming as he gently lowered her to the floor. She fumbled for the button to the hatch; the hiss of the hydraulics covered her soft moan of pleasure. It was dark for a brief moment, then the lights came on in the cabin. Poe grinned down at her, sliding his hand along her flank. “Someone has ideas,” he teased.

“Shut up and kiss me, flyboy.”

“Gladly.” His kiss was surprisingly tender; he was always so gentle with her. She wove her fingers into his hair, allowing herself to get lost in him for a little while.

Training could wait.


End file.
